Allstocks.com's Bulletin Board Post New Topic  Post A Reply
my profile login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Allstocks.com's Bulletin Board » Off-Topic Post, Non Stock Talk » just a joke... (Page 3)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 6 pages: 1  2  3  4  5  6   
Author Topic: just a joke...
Pagan
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 7 posted      Profile for Pagan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Did anyone hear about Lorena Bobbit's sister? She did the same thing to her boyfriend but missed and only nicked his leg. So they charged her with a missedawiener. [Big Grin]

--------------------
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Posts: 3311 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
oh jeez pagan, very predictable.

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glassman
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for glassman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Pagan:
Did anyone hear about Lorena Bobbit's sister? She did the same thing to her boyfriend but missed and only nicked his leg. So they charged her with a missedawiener. [Big Grin]

not a joke, i dunno exaclty [Wink] why but it occurred to me that you might like this site Pagan, it's updated fairly reguarly and has alot of cool toys to play with:

http://www.inventables.com/

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

Posts: 36378 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pagan
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pagan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by glassman:
quote:
Originally posted by Pagan:
Did anyone hear about Lorena Bobbit's sister? She did the same thing to her boyfriend but missed and only nicked his leg. So they charged her with a missedawiener. [Big Grin]

not a joke, i dunno exaclty [Wink] why but it occurred to me that you might like this site Pagan, it's updated fairly reguarly and has alot of cool toys to play with:

http://www.inventables.com/

Thanks. There are some interesting items on that site.

--------------------
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Posts: 3311 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -  -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glassman
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for glassman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

Posts: 36378 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
SeekingFreedom
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for SeekingFreedom     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
/weepforthenation

Posts: 1802 | From: Utah | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -
 -
 -
 -
 -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
 -

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
When a woman says "what?" It doesn't mean she didnt hear you. It means she is giving you a chance to correct yourself.

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pagan
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pagan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would like to buy some cyanide.

The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady replied, "I need it to poison my husband."

The pharmacist's eyes got big and he explained, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband, that's against the law. I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife......

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "You didn't tell me you had a prescription."

--------------------
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Posts: 3311 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rounder1
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for rounder1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A man and a woman had dated for 40 years. In all that time they had never had pre-marital sex. After 40 years of dating, when they were both in their 70's, they finally tied the knot.

So on their wedding night the woman was nervous, she knew that she was not healthy enough to have sex. She had a heart condition that would not allow for it. As she was preparing for bed, she contemplated how she was going to break the news to her new husband. Finally she decided that she was just going to sit down next to him and tell him the truth.

She went to the bed where he was laying and sat down next to him. The husband reached up flicked one strap of her night gown off to the side. Out plopped this big, long, flabby boob....it just landed in a pile on her leg. The husband reached up and flicked the other strap off.....same result. Thinking to herself; "I have to tell him now before this goes to far," she said; "you should know that I have Acute Angina." To which he replied; "Thank God, cause something needs to make up for those ugly azz titties."

--------------------
"The greatest argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." (WC)

Posts: 386 | From: Georgia | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
buckstalker
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for buckstalker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
pathetic...

--------------------
***********************

It's all in the timing...

Posts: 4303 | From: DSA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
what is?

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
buckstalker
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for buckstalker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Besides rounders joke...your view of current events

--------------------
***********************

It's all in the timing...

Posts: 4303 | From: DSA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rounder1
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for rounder1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guess I should have tried a knock knock joke....sorry to disappoint.

--------------------
"The greatest argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." (WC)

Posts: 386 | From: Georgia | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
buckstalker
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for buckstalker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well if it is any consolation, your joke is way better than CCM's twisted views of the occupy protesters and the message they are attempting to send...

--------------------
***********************

It's all in the timing...

Posts: 4303 | From: DSA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
T e x
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for T e x     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Buck,

One of my oldest and dearest friends says, "Funny people do funny thangs."

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

Posts: 21062 | From: Fort Worth | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by buckstalker:
Besides rounders joke...your view of current events

Be more specific next time.


A $50 Lesson: I recently asked my neighbors' little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day.

Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?

She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride. 'Wow, what a...... worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that? You can come over to my house and mow the lawn, pull weeds, and trim my hedge, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food and a new house.'

She thought that over for a few seconds, then she looked me straight in the eye and asked, 'Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50? '

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents still aren't speaking to me.

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
buckstalker
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for buckstalker     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by T e x:
Buck,

One of my oldest and dearest friends says, "Funny people do funny thangs."

Yeah...I've heard that before
Here's another..."you can't fix stupid"

--------------------
***********************

It's all in the timing...

Posts: 4303 | From: DSA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Progressive Thanksgiving


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p55u_wzvsMs&feature=related

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
R1 Man
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for R1 Man     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
A window salesman talks a blonde into buying windows. A year later the salesman comes back and asks her why she hasn't made any payments. She replied, you said these windows would pay for themselves in a year. Salesman walks away.
Posts: 2363 | From: Detroit | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Now this is funny

Chia Obama!

https://www.americanchia.com/?rtag=chiaobama&

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pagan
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pagan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by CashCowMoo:
Now this is funny

Chia Obama!

https://www.americanchia.com/?rtag=chiaobama&

It's only funny it your rotten brain. But that, I guess, pretty much goes without saying.

--------------------
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Posts: 3311 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jordanreed
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for jordanreed     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.

The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey,
I've got a gynaecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.. 'The husband, rejected, turns over.
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.

'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'

--------------------
jordan

Posts: 5812 | From: st paul,mn | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
poorman
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for poorman     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
The Pope and Obama are on the same stage in Yankee Stadium in front of a
huge
crowd.

The Pope leans towards Mr. Obama and said, "Do you know that with one
little wave of
my hand I can make every person in this crowd go wild with joy? This joy
will
not be a momentary display, but will go deep into their hearts and they'll
forever speak of this day and rejoice!"

Obama replied, "I seriously doubt that! With one little wave of your
hand....

Show me!"

So the Pope backhanded him and knocked him off the stage!

AND THE CROWD ROARED & CHEERED WILDLY and there was happiness throughout
the
land!

Kind of brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

--------------------
You never really grow up you just learn how to act in public.

Posts: 1169 | From: Pollock Pines Ca | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Pagan
Member


Member Rated:
4
Icon 1 posted      Profile for Pagan     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Guy walks into convenience store and says...

Guy: "I need three packs of condoms please."
Cashier: "You want a bag with those?"
Guy: "Nah, she ain't THAT ugly!"

--------------------
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

Posts: 3311 | From: St. Louis | Registered: Feb 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
41 second vid, very funny. I am sure you have seen the other spoofs they have made.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/12/rick-perry-strong-bad-lip-reading_n_114 4510.html?ref=comedy

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If Mac users care more about the environment than Windows users... Why do Macs have a trash can, and Windows have a recycling bin?

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
rounder1
Member


Icon 1 posted      Profile for rounder1     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
St. Peter and the Satan were having a quarrel. Finally, St. Peter said; "I am just gonna sue you." Satan then replied; "oh yeah, where ya gonna find a lawyer?"

--------------------
"The greatest argument against democracy is a five minute conversation with the average voter." (WC)

Posts: 386 | From: Georgia | Registered: May 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by rounder1:
St. Peter and the Satan were having a quarrel. Finally, St. Peter said; "I am just gonna sue you." Satan then replied; "oh yeah, where ya gonna find a lawyer?"

nice one

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
CashCowMoo
Member


Rate Member
Icon 1 posted      Profile for CashCowMoo     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Question: A Greek, an Italian and a Spaniard walk into a bar. Who picks up the tab?

Answer: The Americans.

--------------------
It isn't so much that liberals are ignorant. It's just that they know so many things that aren't so.

Posts: 6946 | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 6 pages: 1  2  3  4  5  6   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Allstocks.com Message Board Home

© 1997 - 2013 Allstocks.com. All rights reserved.

Powered by Infopop Corporation
UBB.classic™ 6.7.2

Share