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Zeker-Your jokes are great. I loved that last one, I was laughing out loud. Great way to start the day. Tell us some more!!!! --------------------------------------------- An older woman went to the Dentist and as she was sitting in the waiting room she noticed that the Dentist had the same name as a classmate. Then she got a look at the dentist and thought 'it can't be the same person, he's much too old'. When she went inside and sat in the chair she mentioned that she had a boy in her class with the same name and asked him what school did he attend and what year did he graduate. He told her and she replied 'You were in my class!' He said 'Really? What did you teach?' -Debi
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If you ever feel the need to criticize someone else, try walking a mile in their shoes. That way you will be a mile away from them when you do, plus you will have their shoes and they can't come after you.
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One day the whole state legislature was aboard the official state bus touring a rural area. The driver lost control and crashed the bus into the ditch. A farmer came by, and, finding the politicians lying in the road, buried them. The police arrived on the scene just as she finished tamping the dirt down over the last one. They started asking her questions about the wreck. "So you buried ALL the politicians?" asked the police officer. "Were they all dead?" The farmer answered, "Some said they weren't, but you know how them politicians lie."
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Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND. Basically, it's made up of two separate words: "mank"and "ind." What do these words mean? It's a mystery and that's why so is mankind. Jack Handy
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quote:Originally posted by 1BigTip: Which would you do?
Would you take a penny that doubles everyday?
Or would you take 1 million dollars right now?
When does your penny stop doubling. After 30 days or so it is way more than the million. However, invest that million and you may have more than the doubling penny. Both are good money but as always, you have to do your own DD and decide. LOL
When I taught school, I told my 6th grade students to make a contract with their parents. Either get a penny the first day and doubled the next and double that the next day and so on for 30 days, or give them 10 bucks a day for 30 days to do the dishes. You couldn't guess how many parents go for the doubling penny. Is that a sign of a gullable parent or smart kid?
As ChrisNC signs: Einsteins 8th wonder of the world was the power of multiplication
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Riddle: You walk into a house in the middle of the country and you are by yourself. In the entryway, their is a panel w/3 light switches on it. One of the switches turns the light on in the closet that is upstairs and out of sight, you only get one chance to go upstairs and see if the light is on, the other two light switches don't work, how do you know which light switch turns on the light in the closet?
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quote:Originally posted by Banks: Riddle: You walk into a house in the middle of the country and you are by yourself. In the entryway, their is a panel w/3 light switches on it. One of the switches turns the light on in the closet that is upstairs and out of sight, you only get one chance to go upstairs and see if the light is on, the other two light switches don't work, how do you know which light switch turns on the light in the closet?
This may not make sense, but I was thinking when the light is on the bulb gets hot, so why not flick all the lights on, and then go upstairs and check the bulb surface for heat. Not sure if you allowed to can switch all switches or one, it is not said in this riddle.
------------------ 'Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.' - Helen Keller
quote:Originally posted by 1BigTip: Which would you do?
Would you take a penny that doubles everyday?
Or would you take 1 million dollars right now?
I take the penny that doubles everyday for 365 days - (1 penny)x[2^(N-1)] where N is number of days, and my calculator cannot handle this number for 365 days, but don't forget to devide by 100 if you want the answer in dollars.
So if you ask why N-1, this is for 1 penny on the first day because when N=1, on the first day 2^(1-1)=1. Have fun.
------------------ 'Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.' - Helen Keller
quote:Originally posted by TradingWizard: This may not make sense, but I was thinking when the light is on the bulb gets hot, so why not flick all the lights on, and then go upstairs and check the bulb surface for heat. Not sure if you allowed to can switch all switches or one, it is not said in this riddle.
SWITCHING ALL OF THEM ON DOES NOT TELL YOU WHICH SWITCH IT IS.
quote:Originally posted by TradingWizard: This may not make sense, but I was thinking when the light is on the bulb gets hot, so why not flick all the lights on, and then go upstairs and check the bulb surface for heat. Not sure if you allowed to can switch all switches or one, it is not said in this riddle.
I'm sure you can switch on any combination you want. But you may have hit on something. Flick on switch 1. Wait a few minutes then turn it off. Flick on switch 2. Go and check. If the bulb is on then switch 2 is the right one. If the the bulb is off then check to see if it is warm or cool. If warm then switch 1 must have been correct. If cool then switch 3 is correct.
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What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? So what makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
AND look how far ass kissing will take you... A-S-S K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 127%
So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, Bull**** and Ass Kissing will put you over the top.
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Yes you are correct....it was a rush answer, and I totally forgot what the questions was, but I guess heat on the bulb was the right clue....thanks for the clarification to both of you....:-)))
------------------ 'Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much.' - Helen Keller
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Great question! See, most people would choose the million dollars because they want it "NOW" and they see that the penny is worth nothing so right away they choose the million. Some people ask when does it stop doubling and some will say they take the penny that keeps doubling.
There is no true answer to this but I always use it at my trainings. I want to show people that earning a residual income is better then trading time for money at your job. You work 8 hours, you get paid 8 hours. You dont work, you dont get paid. At least with the residuals, that money keeps coming in, hence penny that doubles. So it could be for life and yes after 30 days you would have made 1 mill. with that 1 penny.
Its also a way to open peoples minds.
And Last thing: It depends what business your in.
THINK ABOUT THIS: RAY CROC(founder of McDonalds)IS COLLECTING RESIDUALS FROM ALL THE MCDONALDS IN THE WORLD! I'M COLLECTING RESIDUALS FROM ALL THE WEBSITES I SOLD YEARS AGO.
quote:Originally posted by jimbo: When does your penny stop doubling. After 30 days or so it is way more than the million. Last thing BigTip: Who's paying it???
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So BigTip, did you mean that Ray Croc has some $$$ set aside to pay our doubling penny? Great! Can he give us a few burgers and fries with it? And you are right, that is a great teaching tool. Remember, always pay yourself first and let your money work for you instead of you working for your money.
quote:Originally posted by 1BigTip: THINK ABOUT THIS: RAY CROC(founder of McDonalds)IS COLLECTING RESIDUALS FROM ALL THE MCDONALDS IN THE WORLD! I'M COLLECTING RESIDUALS FROM ALL THE WEBSITES I SOLD YEARS AGO.
The other thing you can do is invent something and patent it. People thought rollerblades would be moronic! When you buy something at the store, do you think all the money goes to them??
I heard some crazy stuff that when you buy a music CD lets say for $15. Store only keeps $3 CD designer takes 2.00 lyric writer takes 4.00 music production takes 2.00 Artist takes 5
Something like that.
Everytime you rent a movie, the actors get paid for it.
quote:Originally posted by Bob Frey: Ray has passed on ... His wife or widow is running the show now.
The buzz word in today's business world is MARKETING. However, people often ask for a simple explanation of "Marketing." Well, here it is:
You're a woman and you see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say, "I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Direct Marketing.
You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you says, "She's fantastic in bed,"
That's Advertising.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed,"
That's Telemarketing.
You see a guy at a party, you straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie, brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed,"
That's Brand Recognition.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He fancies you, but you talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated towards the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" .....
That's Junk Mail.
You are at a party, this well-built man walks up to you and gropes you ...
That's Arnold Schwarzenegger!
YOU LIKE IT, BUT 20 YEARS LATER YOUR ATTORNEY DECIDES YOU WERE OFFENDED.
THAT'S AMERICA
[This message has been edited by Allstocks (edited July 03, 2004).]
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I think this could apply to the stock trading world. "There are three kind of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics." Benjamin Disraeli 1804-1881 but also attributed to Mark Twain later.
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There are two kinds of people: some willing to work and the rest willing to let them. -- Robert Frost
-------- People can be divided into two classes: those who go ahead and do something, and those who sit still and inquire, 'Why wasn't it done the other way?' -- 0liver Wendell Holmes
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The general that hearkens to my counsel and acts upon it, will conquer: let such a one be retained in command! The general that hearkens not to my counsel nor acts upon it, will suffer defeat:--let such a one be dismissed!
for you Dog, also from Sun Tzu general glassman reporting for duty...
[This message has been edited by glassman (edited September 21, 2004).]
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I said "ALL", that includes mine!
