When Bill and Hillary first got married Bill said, "I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it." In all their 30 years of marriage, Hillary never looked.
On the afternoon of their 30th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her and she lifted the lid and peeked inside.
In the box were 3 empty beer cans and $81,874.25 in cash.
She closed the box and put it back under the bed. Now that she knew what was in the box, she was doubly curious as to why there even was a box with such contents.
That evening, they were out for a special anniversary dinner.
After dinner, Hillary could no longer contain her curiosity and she confessed, saying, "I am so sorry, Bill. For all these years, I kept my promise and never looked into the box under our bed. However, today the temptation was too much and I gave in. But now I need to know, why do you keep the 3 bee r cans in the box?"
Bill thought for a while and said, "I guess after all these years you deserve to know the truth. Whenever I was unfaithful to you, I put an empty beer can in the box under the bed to remind myself not to do it again"
Hillary was shocked, but said, "Hmmm, Jennifer, Paula and Monica. I am very disappointed and saddened by your behavior. However, since you are addicted to sex I guess it does happen and I guess 3 times is not that bad considering your problem."
Bill thanked her for being so understanding. They hugged and made their peace.
A little while later Hillary asked Bill, "So why do you have all that money in the box?"
Bill replied "Well, whenever the box filled up with empty cans, I took them to the recycling center and redeemed them for cash."
Posts: 361 | From: CT | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Q: How many Bush Administration officials does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. There is nothing wrong with the light bulb; it's conditions are improving every day. Any reports of its lack of incandescence are delusional spin from the liberal media. That light bulb has served honorably, and anything you say undermines the lighting effect. Why do you hate freedom?
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
that is just an ubsurd thing to say. But the sad part is that you really believe that. I'm sure you think that bush is behind 911 too right? Or how about that Bush caused Hurricane Katrina and blew up the levies in New Orleans so that more people would die.
Posts: 361 | From: CT | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
urnso77:"that is just an ubsurd (sic) thing to say."
Gordy: Why?
urnso77:"the sad part is that you really believe that."
Gordy: I do. He has treated our military like cattle, with no planning, exit strategy and, worst of all, no remorse of any kind. He didn't even come clean about the reasons he was sending our troops into battle in the first place. (Hint: It had nothing to do with terrorists, WMDs or "Freedom") Why should I believe he cares two bits about their welfare now?
urnso77:"I'm sure you think that bush is behind 911 too right?"
Gordy: I think we can all agree that Bush and his agenda benefited greatly from the 9/11 disaster. But did the Administration actually plan, cause, or simply let the attack happen? I don't know. (How about letting some actual investigations take place, Mr. Bush?)
urnso77:"Or how about that Bush caused Hurricane Katrina and blew up the levies in New Orleans so that more people would die."
Gordy: That is just an absurd thing to say.
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
urnso77, as long as you support George W. Bush, who can barely get a sentence out because he's so socially retarded, and who relies on FOX News editors to make him look "presidential," I would probably keep the audio clips of Howard Dean to myself.
They kinda sorta make you look ignorant.
P.S. The correct lyric is "Throw that pumpkin at the tree Unless you think that pumpkin holds your destiny."
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
Regardless of what I say, I will be seen as ignorant. And you are "kinda sorta" a political hack.
Posts: 361 | From: CT | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Doing good urnso77......It is nice to see you have not resorted to name calling like some enjoy doing.....
Posts: 741 | From: North Carolina | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
While there are almost no funny "conservative" comedians, it does happen on rare occasions. However, I can't think of a single "conservative" musician worth listening to. Can you?
And ruthie? "Political hack" sounds like name calling to me.
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
George Bush has started an ill-timed and disastrous war under false pretenses by lying to the American people and to the Congress; he has run a budget surplus into a severe deficit; he has consistently and unconscionably favored the wealthy and corporations over the rights and needs of the population; he has destroyed trust and confidence in, and good will toward, the United States around the globe; he has ignored global warming, to the world's detriment; he has wantonly broken our treaty obligations; he has condoned torture of prisoners; he has attempted to create a theocracy in the United States; he has appointed incompetent cronies to positions of vital national importance.
Now, would someone please give him a blow job so we can impeach him?
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
It's all a matter of opinion. If you don't think that any of the jokes I posted are funny, then it doesn't suprise me that you don't like any conservative comedians. As far as conservative musicians go, I don't listen to music for the political aspect of it. Although I do think that Paul Shanklin's parodies of Teddy Kennedy are pretty darn funny.
posted
Let's face it urnso77, you are a biased and narrow minded far rightwing parrot with little ability to discern fact and truth....one of Fat Rush'es type of pawns.
lol
Posts: 11304 | From: Fort Worth, Texas | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Yep, I felt it when he first came here and posted a hateful diatribe against me.
Posts: 11304 | From: Fort Worth, Texas | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
Gordo, can I ask you what your day consists of? I'm just curious because there's a pattern that I've noticed. Sometime around mid to late morning (central standard time) as your name falls lower and lower on this board, you seem to awaken for a few hours, dig up anything negative you possibly can about America or Bush, then post it so the threads look something like this:
Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett
And then the cycle repeats itself later in the day. Sadly they're rarely original thoughts (which I sometimes enjoy) but usually just paste and copied articles from every corner of the internet. Does the Allstocks limelight really mean that much to you?
Posts: 5729 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2003
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The Lie Clocks urnso77 10 March 15, 2007 11:24 AM by Gordon Bennett
Bush and the Bible: A Letter to George Bush Gordon Bennett 0 March 15, 2007 11:22 AM by Gordon Bennett
Traffic Jam urnso77 1 March 15, 2007 11:15 AM by Gordon Bennett
Dean Says Gonzales and Rove Must Go Gordon Bennett 17 March 15, 2007 10:56 AM by Gordon Bennett
Jesus: Tales from the Crypt Pages: 1 2 3 Gordon Bennett 106 March 15, 2007 10:53 AM by Gordon Bennett
U.S. economy leaving record numbers in severe poverty Gordon Bennett 25 March 15, 2007 10:49 AM by Gordon Bennett
See what I mean? This was done within 45 minutes! Please, enlighten me as to what your story is. I'm sure many more than myself here would love to read it, in chapters preferably. That way you can keep your name in the spotlight and we can all be enthralled for minutes on end as we read the page a minute story of Gordon Bennett.
Posts: 5729 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote:Originally posted by Upside: Gordo, can I ask you what your day consists of? I'm just curious because there's a pattern that I've noticed. Sometime around mid to late morning (central standard time) as your name falls lower and lower on this board, you seem to awaken for a few hours, dig up anything negative you possibly can about America or Bush, then post it so the threads look something like this:
Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett Gordon Bennett
And then the cycle repeats itself later in the day. Sadly they're rarely original thoughts (which I sometimes enjoy) but usually just paste and copied articles from every corner of the internet. Does the Allstocks limelight really mean that much to you?
posted
As urnso77 completely blew off my carefully thought out response, I'm posting it again...
urnso77:"that is just an ubsurd (sic) thing to say."
Gordy: Why?
urnso77:"the sad part is that you really believe that."
Gordy: I do. He has treated our military like cattle, with no planning, exit strategy and, worst of all, no remorse of any kind. He didn't even come clean about the reasons he was sending our troops into battle in the first place. (Hint: It had nothing to do with terrorists, WMDs or "Freedom") Why should I believe he cares two bits about their welfare now?
urnso77:"I'm sure you think that bush is behind 911 too right?"
Gordy: I think we can all agree that Bush and his agenda benefited greatly from the 9/11 disaster. But did the Administration actually plan, cause, or simply let the attack happen? I don't know. (How about letting some actual investigations take place, Mr. Bush?)
urnso77:"Or how about that Bush caused Hurricane Katrina and blew up the levies in New Orleans so that more people would die."
Gordy: That is just an absurd thing to say.
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I can't believe I actually have to respond to this. *sigh*
1. we're fighting a war like no other in history so errors will be made. No planning? Thats never done by the President but my the military itself. Exit strategy? How about winning first and then worrying about leaving. And saying that he has no remorse of any kind is just intellectually dishonest. Your hatred for Bush makes you think that.
2. The American people are the ones who benefitted greatly from having Bush in the White House when 911 happened. I'm glad we had someone who fought back and took it too them. And don't try to tell me that Iraq and Al Qaida aren't related either.
3. I'm glad to see that you think that my Hurrican Katrina satire was absurd because I meant it to be.
Posts: 361 | From: CT | Registered: Feb 2007
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quote:Originally posted by urnso77: I can't believe I actually have to respond to this. *sigh*
1. we're fighting a war like no other in history so errors will be made. No planning? Thats never done by the President but my the military itself. Exit strategy? How about winning first and then worrying about leaving. And saying that he has no remorse of any kind is just intellectually dishonest. Your hatred for Bush makes you think that.
2. The American people are the ones who benefitted greatly from having Bush in the White House when 911 happened. I'm glad we had someone who fought back and took it too them. And don't try to tell me that Iraq and Al Qaida aren't related either.
3. I'm glad to see that you think that my Hurrican Katrina satire was absurd because I meant it to be.
congrats...you, and the rest of the 28%,are still hangin in there...but not for long. more heads are gonna roll. believing the way you do is kinda like your faith in that man in the sky, huh?
-------------------- jordan Posts: 5812 | From: st paul,mn | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
It's pretty sad that urnso77 still clings to this utterly discredited theory.
As we all should know by now, the Sept. 11 commission found no "collaborative relationship" between Iraq and al Qaeda, dismissing one of the Bush administration's main justifications for the war in Iraq.
In fact, a declassified report released recently by the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence revealed that U.S. intelligence analysts were strongly disputing the alleged links between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda while senior Bush administration officials were publicly asserting those links to justify invading Iraq.
quote:Originally posted by urnso77: And don't try to tell me that Iraq and Al Qaida aren't related either.
-------------------- "Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety."
- Benjamin Franklin Posts: 3898 | Registered: Dec 2005
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