Thanks to the Admin for the great work and great year you've had with traffic to the site.

HOPE 2005 BRINGS IN MORE AND YOU CONTINUE YOUR SUCCESS.

thanks bob & allstocks for bringing us such a valuable forum!!

A new contract for Santa has finally been negotiated

...Please read the following carefully.......

I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no
longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas
Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth,
my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves
Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana,
Illinois, Wisconsin and Michigan. As part of the new and better
contract, I also get longer breaks for milk and cookies, so keep that
in mind.

However, I'm certain that your children will be in good hands
with your local replacement who happens to be my third cousin,
Bubba Claus. His side of the family is from the South Pole. He
shares my goal of delivering toys to all the good boys and
girls; however, there are a few differences between us.
Differences such as:

1. There is no danger of a Grinch stealing your presents from
Bubba Claus. He has a gun rack on his sleigh and a bumper
sticker that reads: "These toys insured by Smith and Wesson."

2. Instead of milk and cookies, Bubba Claus prefers that
children leave an RC cola and pork rinds [or a moon pie] on
the fireplace. And Bubba doesn't smoke a pipe. He dips a
little snuff though, so please have an empty spit can handy.

3. Bubba Claus' sleigh is pulled by floppy-eared, flying' coon
dogs instead of reindeer. I made the mistake of loaning him a
couple of my reindeer one time, and Blitzen's head now
overlooks Bubba's fireplace.

4. You won't hear "On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen
.." when Bubba Claus arrives. Instead, you'll hear,
"On Earnhardt, on Wallace, on Martin and Labonte. On Rudd, on
Jarrett, on Elliott and Petty."

5. "Ho, ho, ho!" has been replaced by "Yee Haw!" And you also
are likely to hear Bubba's elves respond, "I her'd dat!"

6. As required by Southern highway laws, Bubba Claus' sleigh
does have a Yosemite Sam safety triangle on the back with the
words "Back off." The last I heard it also had other
decorations on the sleigh back as well. One is Ford or Chevy
logo with lights that race through the letters and the other
is a caricature of me (Santa Claus) going wee wee on the Tooth Fairy.

7. The usual Christmas movie classics such as "Miracle on 34th
Street" and "It's a Wonderful Life" will not be shown in your
negotiated viewing area. Instead, you'll see "Boss Hogg Saves
Christmas" and "Smokey and the Bandit IV" featuring Burt
Reynolds as Bubba Claus and dozens of state patrol cars
crashing into each other.

8. Bubba Claus doesn't wear a belt. If I were you, I'd make
sure you, the wife, and the kids turn the other way when he
bends over to put presents under the tree.

9. And finally, lovely Christmas songs have been sung about
me like "Rudolph The Red-nosed Reindeer" and Bing Crosby's
"Santa Claus Is Coming to Town." This year songs about Bubba
Claus will be played on all the AM radio stations in the
South. Those song title will be Mark Chesnutt's "Bubba Claus
Shot the Jukebox"; Cledus T. Judd's "All I Want for Christmas
Is My Woman and a Six Pack", and Hank Williams Jr.'s
"If You Don't Like Bubba Claus, You can Shove It."

Sincerely Yours,

Santa Claus
(member of North American Fairies and Elves Local 209)

ps, thanks for the GREAT BOARD

______________________________________
I also wanted to say.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
TO EVERY ONE
HERE!! You guys and gals
are the ones that completes
a GREAT BOARD!
So,
MERRY CHRISTMAS