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Originally posted by raybond:
Why are all closet homosexuals in the Republican Party? Or YABAN.
May 5, 2009, 6:00PM


In his definitive lefty blog, Quinn the Esqimo Rocks: HOW TO BLOG GOOOOOD, dickday invites us to blog about nothing and even hands out titles for the nothing to be about. So here is Yet Another Blog About Nothing that asks the question we all care about: Why are all closet homosexuals in the Republican Party?

I'm so glad you asked. You see, the Republican practice of closet homosexuality goes back to the 1950's when an inventory of closets revealed the likes of J. Edgar Hoover, Whittaker Chambers and Roy Cohn, for starters. Many others have joined their Republican anti-communist comrades in the closets since that time and what with the Republican respect for tradition and so forth, closets have been reserved for Republican homosexuals ever since.

But think about it. Where else would you expect Republicans to keep their homosexuality? Should they keep it in the dining room breakfront right next to their wedding china? The answer is no, because obviously there is no room for homosexuality in there amongst the 16 gravy boats that nobody ever uses. And it is a well known fact among interior decorators that china and homosexuality don't match and should never be placed side by side.

By now you are probably wondering about the garage. It is true that the garage has certain advantages over a closet. For one thing, it is usually large enough so they can practice their tap-dancing moves, which are catchy little toe taps that some homosexuals use when they take their homosexuality out of the closet for exercise. Unfortunately, tap dancing requires so much concentration that the homosexual is in danger of getting run over by a car entering the garage, especially if the car is driven by the homosexual's spouse when the 11 PM news happens to catch their homosexual husband exercising his hang-ups.

The living room is out because that's where Republicans keep their family and moral values. They like to drape them all over the couches and chairs in the living room so they can better protect them from lefty intruders with their 2nd Amendment guns. Of course, because homosexuals tend to practice their homosexuality more than their target practicing, they usually end up shooting the neighbor's dog or their own foot first. It should also be noted that there is no recorded, or unrecorded, case of lefty assaults on family and moral values except in the unconscious minds and blogs of Republicans.

So why are the closeted homosexuals only in the Republican party? Sociologists and certain members of the lefty blogging community have puzzled over this conundrum ever since the birth of Zeusandra the Queer in 9000 B.C. The only thing I can figure is that Democrats don't have hang-ups in the closet. They just throw their stuff all over the bedroom or where ever and leave it out in the open for all to see and someone else to pick up. But you are free to form your own opinion on that subject.

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Originally posted by NR:
LMAO Relentless...

Glass,

According to Wiki, ARM's were a result of the Garn–St. Germain Depository Institutions Act that became law in 1982. (Ironically it is this same Act that was blamed for the Savings and Loan crisis in the late 80's). Greenspan didn't become Fed Chairman until 1987.

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