Born: 1937-05-12 Died: 0000-00-00 George Carlin Biography
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? [ Funny Marriage Quotes] *** I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they're cramming for their final exam. [ Funny Christian Quotes] [ Funny Bible Quotes] *** No one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning. [ Funny Winning Quotes] *** If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten. [ Funny Winning Quotes] *** If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? [ Funny Suicide Quotes] *** What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me. [ Funny Motivation Quotes] *** Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward. [ Funny Food Quotes] [ Funny Money Quotes] *** I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's. -- (Brain Droppings, 1997) [ Funny Florida Quotes] *** The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984) [ Funny Time Quotes] *** The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions. -- (Napalm and Silly Putty, 2001) [ Funny Intellect Quotes] [ Funny America Quotes] *** If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work. -- (Brain Droppings, 1997) [ Funny Sales Quotes] *** Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. [ Funny Honesty Quotes] *** Atheism is a non-prophet organization. [ Funny Atheist Quotes] *** "I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. [ Funny Hell Quotes] *** Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
*** What does it mean to pre-board? Do you get on before you get on?
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-------------------- Let the world change you... And you can change the world.
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