Aquarius--Jan 20-Feb 18 You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are inclined to be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over again. People think you are stupid.
Pisces--Feb 20- March 20 You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the CIA or the FBI. You have minor influence over your associates and people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.
Aries Mar 21 --April 19- You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered, impatient and scornful of advice. You are not very nice.
Taurus April 20--May 20 You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn, and bull-headed. You are a communist.
Gemini May 21-June 20-You are a quick and intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bi-sexual.However you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Gemini's are known for committing incest.
Cancer June 21--July 22 You are sympathetic to other peoples problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you will never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancers.
Leo July 21- Aug 22 You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are known thieves.
Virgo Aug 23--Sep 22 You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-pick attitude sickens your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgo's make good bus drivers.
Libra Sept 23- Oct 22 You are the artistic type and have difficulty with reality. If you are a man you are more likely to be queer. Chances for employment and monetary gains are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of venereal disease.
Scorpio Oct 23- Nov 21 You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.
Sagitarius Nov22 -Dec 21 You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendancy to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagitarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.
Capricorn Dec 22-- Jan 19 You are conservative and afraid to take risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as they tend take root and become trees.
-------------------- Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise. Posts: 36378 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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posted
Some wisdom from folks we all know and love:
Celebrity Quotes:
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are unimportant." George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship." Sharon Stone
"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place." Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful." Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'." Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a *****, and only enough blood to run one at a time." Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle- aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same." Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." George Burns
-------------------- The light of truth is blinding to most.
More comforting to look only at the shadows of falseness. Posts: 4402 | From: Florida | Registered: Jun 2003
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