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Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
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[QUOTE]Originally posted by Purl Gurl: [QB] "like maybe it was munching on some cheeta sh!t before the races" Well, gosh, you are right on the verge of suggesting I was cheating. Might as well get this over with. Trick is to take a sip of White Lightning, which is, of course, hidden in a tiny pint Mason jar in the milking shed, behind which we held our sh!tbug races so our elders would not catch us. You have to use a pint jar because those are small and easy to hide under cow crap, hay, up in the rafters, whatever. Would not want your elders to know you are stealing thier White Lightning from their quart Mason jars. So, you have a tiny sip of White Lightning. You park that little sip of White Lightning over in a cheek pocket. Just about time for the race start, moments before, you spit a little on your bug for "good luck." That alcohol sets the bug on fire and he runs like all get out! Suppose my cousin figured out there was more to my spit than just spit. He stepped on my bug squashing the poor thing. Least the bug was drunk when it met its demise. Alright, alright, my cousin caught me cheating. He squashes my bug, I spit fire, run to the farmhouse, fetch a shotgun, run back, he runs for the forest, I blast away, we end up in lots of trouble. This might have to do with my other cousin shoving me down into wet pig sh!t in our pig pen; revenge for shooting our cousin. However, I paid him back for shoving me down by catching him unawares then jabbing him in the leg with a three prong frog gig, nothing serious, just three tiny holes and some blood. He got the kerosine treatment, I got a butt switching. Not that I am ornery or anything, a girl just has to stick up for herself. Sure got a lot of butt switchings, a way lot. Say, did I tell you about the time Crutcher Hendon tossed me off our school bus for bashing a boy over his head with my geography book? Taha [/QB][/QUOTE]
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