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Thoughts on Marriage

Thoughts on Marriage

You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead."

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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with
friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that!

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

The other woman replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."

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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."

She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."

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The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"

 Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"

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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.

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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat elsewhere.

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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.

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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get
married?"

The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

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Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some countries a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: That happens in every country, son.

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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."

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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.

The woman replied, "A billionaire."

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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second
marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
word you say, talk in your sleep.

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life
thinking they had no faults at all.

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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the guys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.

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Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that
as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.

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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

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Author Unknown

 

 

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