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Thoughts on Marriage
You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead."
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Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that!
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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another, "Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
The other woman replied, "Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
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After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a
fool when I married you."
She replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
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The bride, upon getting engaged,
went to her mother and said, "I've found a man just like father!"
Her mother replied, "So what do you want from me, sympathy?"
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat elsewhere.
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Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
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A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
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Young Son: Is it true Dad, that in some countries a man doesn't know his
wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
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Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real
happiness was until I got married; and by then it was too late."
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A woman was telling her friend, "It is I who made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A billionaire."
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Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
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If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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You know the honeymoon is pretty much
over when you start to go out with the guys on Wednesday nights, and so does she.
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Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
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How do most men define marriage? A very expensive way to get your laundry done for free.
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Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
============================================ Author Unknown |