-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Wife Blames Shooting on Burglar Alarm Jun 27, 11:21 PM (ET)
PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. (AP) - A woman held on a gun charge claims she accidentally shot her husband in the head after becoming startled when the couple's burglar alarm activated, authorities said Wednesday.
April Moylan, 39, was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon and ordered held Wednesday on $75,000 bond, according to the St. Lucie County Sheriff's Office.
Prosecutors were not immediately seeking additional charges.
"The state attorney's office continues to review the facts of the case, and that review is ongoing," Sheriff Ken Mascara said Wednesday. "That means it is possible there could be additional charges in the future."
It was not immediately clear if she had an attorney.
Michael Eugene Moylan, 45, initially told authorities he awoke early Tuesday morning with a severe headache. The couple went to a hospital where a bullet was discovered in the man's head.
Investigators initially thought Moylan had been hit by a stray bullet, but later realized the couple's story did not match up, Mascara said.
The couple finally told authorities that April Moylan sleeps with a loaded .32-caliber revolver under her pillow. They said that when the burglar alarm sounded at about 4 a.m. Tuesday, she grabbed the gun and it accidentally discharged, shooting her husband in the head just behind his ear.
Mascara said the couple told authorities they couldn't simply call 911 because both are convicted felons and are not allowed to own a gun so they concocted the headache story.
April Moylan previously had been convicted of sale and delivery of cocaine in Palm Beach County, Mascara said. Her husband's criminal record was not immediately available.
He was recovering Wednesday at a hospital. His wound was not considered life-threatening, the sheriff's office said.
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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REDDING, Calif. (AP) - A 49-year-old truck driver has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for shooting his wife after she failed to renew his driver's license.
Gary Alan Hemsted pleaded no contest earlier this month to attempted voluntary manslaughter, using a firearm and causing great bodily injury in the wounding of his wife, Lisa, 42, in 2005.
Shasta County sheriff's deputies said Hemsted became angry after he was cited for driving with an expired license and blamed his wife for failing to renew it.
Detective Steve Grashoff testified that Hemsted threatened to shoot his wife's horse and fired a round from a .22-caliber rifle that narrowly missed his wife and hit the family's barn.
Lisa Hemsted ran down the driveway of the couple's home while her husband gave chase in his pickup truck. As Lisa Hemsted climbed over a fence to try to get away, Gary Hemsted aimed his rifle at her, told her "you're dead" and fired a shot that hit her in the right thigh, Grashoff said.
A sheriff's patrol car was pulling up as the shooting took place.
Hemsted's attorney, Richard Maxion, said his client could end up serving a little more than six years in prison after the 796 days he has spent in jail and any credits he earns for good behavior are deducted from the sentence.
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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COTTONWOOD, Ariz. (AP) - A 2-year-old boy went for a wild ride when the parked pickup he was in rolled out of a driveway, across a road and down several embankments, taking out a gas line, trees, and eventually the porch of a home and a chain link fence.
The toddler wasn't hurt, said officials with the Yavapai County Sheriff's Office.
But the pickup, several trees, an outdoor pond, the porch cover and the chain link fence will need some work.
Sheriff's spokeswoman Susan Quayle said the boy was in the cab of the Ford truck Sunday morning while his mother and a man loaded a mattress into the pickup bed.
Suddenly, the truck started rolling backwards out of the driveway, crossing a road and taking out a natural gas line. The truck then went over a small embankment and through the yard of a home, crushing several trees and running over an outdoor pond.
The truck went down another 8-foot embankment and into another back yard, where it hit the support posts for a porch, collapsing the structure. Continuing on its way, the pickup went down a 6-foot embankment, and finally struck a chain link fence, which stopped the pickup.
Quayle said it isn't clear why the pickup started rolling
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
those fish hurt alot of boaters down here in the MS River Oxbows... they get scared by the boat and jump, the boaters hit 'em with their faces...
-------------------- Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise. Posts: 36378 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2003
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TACOMA, Wash. (AP) - A man accused of having sex with a goat is scheduled to be arraigned on Friday on a animal cruelty charge. Charging papers say a witness saw 63-year-old Arthur Lawton having sex with a goat May 8th in a barn at Eatonville's Pioneer Farm Museum where he worked.
Lawton said he was trying to milk the goat.
Lawton missed a scheduled arraignment on August 3rd but turned himself in last night to Pierce County sheriff's deputies.
He's the second person charged in the county since the Legislature made bestiality a crime in response to the fatal injury to a man having sex with a horse in Enumclaw.
A man accused of having sex with the family pit bull dog was acquitted in May.
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it's for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking out the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn't gift giving, it's the white people version of looting.
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days -- mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Lobster?
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged . I have a better description for these kids: 'Lucky *******s.'
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: Do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
New Rule: There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but, without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the *******. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a 'decaf grandee, half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and One NutraSweet,' ooh, you're a huge *******.
New Rule: I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering My PIN number, pressing 'Enter,' verifying the amount, deciding, who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you Spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to 'beef with broccoli.' The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN Recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait, they're already doing that. It's called 'The Howard Stern Show.'
New Rule: I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you're going to insist on making movies based on crappy old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens. Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: And this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell If he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your webcam, Dude. I just want to wash my hands
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.
New Rule: If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than Minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, 'Do you want fries with that?'
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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quote:Originally posted by J_U_ICE: Man Gets 10 Years in License Shooting
Jun 27, 11:20 PM (ET)
REDDING, Calif. (AP) - A 49-year-old truck driver has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for shooting his wife after she failed to renew his driver's license.
Gary Alan Hemsted pleaded no contest earlier this month to attempted voluntary manslaughter, using a firearm and causing great bodily injury in the wounding of his wife, Lisa, 42, in 2005.
Shasta County sheriff's deputies said Hemsted became angry after he was cited for driving with an expired license and blamed his wife for failing to renew it.
Detective Steve Grashoff testified that Hemsted threatened to shoot his wife's horse and fired a round from a .22-caliber rifle that narrowly missed his wife and hit the family's barn.
Lisa Hemsted ran down the driveway of the couple's home while her husband gave chase in his pickup truck. As Lisa Hemsted climbed over a fence to try to get away, Gary Hemsted aimed his rifle at her, told her "you're dead" and fired a shot that hit her in the right thigh, Grashoff said.
A sheriff's patrol car was pulling up as the shooting took place.
Hemsted's attorney, Richard Maxion, said his client could end up serving a little more than six years in prison after the 796 days he has spent in jail and any credits he earns for good behavior are deducted from the sentence.
quote:Originally posted by J_U_ICE: Man Gets 10 Years in License Shooting
Jun 27, 11:20 PM (ET)
REDDING, Calif. (AP) - A 49-year-old truck driver has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for shooting his wife after she failed to renew his driver's license.
Gary Alan Hemsted pleaded no contest earlier this month to attempted voluntary manslaughter, using a firearm and causing great bodily injury in the wounding of his wife, Lisa, 42, in 2005.
Shasta County sheriff's deputies said Hemsted became angry after he was cited for driving with an expired license and blamed his wife for failing to renew it.
Detective Steve Grashoff testified that Hemsted threatened to shoot his wife's horse and fired a round from a .22-caliber rifle that narrowly missed his wife and hit the family's barn.
Lisa Hemsted ran down the driveway of the couple's home while her husband gave chase in his pickup truck. As Lisa Hemsted climbed over a fence to try to get away, Gary Hemsted aimed his rifle at her, told her "you're dead" and fired a shot that hit her in the right thigh, Grashoff said.
A sheriff's patrol car was pulling up as the shooting took place.
Hemsted's attorney, Richard Maxion, said his client could end up serving a little more than six years in prison after the 796 days he has spent in jail and any credits he earns for good behavior are deducted from the sentence.
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Glad to see you all enjoy the pics and some of my twisted humor. Nice pics wdcisco. Hopefully Vick's face will get the same treatment in jail as the dog in the bottom right pic.
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
Three baseball fans leave the stadium after a game and come across a dead, naked woman lying in the middle of the street. After they call the cops, they each take off their baseball caps and place them on the dead woman out of respect and to cover her private parts until the cops arrive.
The first fan places his Boston Red Sox cap over her left breast, the second places his Phillies cap on her right breast and the third fan places his Yankees cap on her pubic area.
The cops finally arrive, and the officers take statements from the fans to find out what happened. After explaining that they found her naked and covered her up with their caps, the cop went over to examine the body. He briefly lifted the Red Sox cap, and quickly replaced it; then he lifted the Phillies cap, and also quickly replaced it.
However, when he lifted the Yankees cap, he stared and stared for what seemed to be two or three minutes. Finally, he let the cap drop, walked away, wrote in his notebook, then returned and lifted the Yankees cap once again and stared for a long time.
As he was walking away the second time, the fans were curious and stopped him and asked him why he spent so much time looking at the woman's genitalia, and he said, "It's the first time I've seen anything but an a$$hole under a Yankees cap."
Posts: 2634 | From: The highway | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I've heard that joke before but the Red Sux were always the a$$holes
-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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-------------------- The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits Posts: 10204 | From: NYC | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
The teacher asked the class to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating.'
The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word fascinate, not fascinating'.
Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.'
The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'
Little Johnny raised his hand.
The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate', so she called on him for his offering.
Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her boobs are so big she can only fasten eight.'
Posts: 316 | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
On a Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D. C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's aide visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral. He told the Cardinal that Nancy Pelosi would be attending the next day's sermon, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.
The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi's views. Pelosi's aide then said, "Look. I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint. The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon."
As Pelosi's aide promised, House Speaker Pelosi appeared for the Sunday sermon and seated herself prominently at the edge of the main aisle. And, during the sermon, as promised, the Cardinal pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.
Then the Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation -- "While Speaker Pelosi's presence is probably an honor to some, she is not my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit. Nancy Pelosi is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed. She married for money and is using it to lie to the American people. She also has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted."
The Cardinal completed his view of Pelosi with, "But, when compared to Senators Ted Kennedy, Harry Reid, and John Kerry, House Speaker Pelosi is a saint.
-------------------- A million unemployed comedians and you are trying to be funny, have you no shame? Posts: 128 | From: Here | Registered: Apr 2006
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Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife Sue, wasn't wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'
After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirmed that he was indeed, interested. Sue told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.
When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p.m. sharp and after paying Sue the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.
Jim quickly dressed and left.
As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?' With a lump in her throat Sue answered 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?' Sue, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'
Bob, with a relieved, satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay the money back.
*Jim = Goldman **Bob = AIG/ **Sue = US taxpayer
Posts: 105 | From: Toronto | Registered: Nov 2005
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