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Author Topic: Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
cottonjim
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PG, is there a particular reason that you are not accepting PM's. I wanted to propose a joint venture of sorts ( get you minds out of the d*mn gutter guy's) Call it an experiment based off of some of your comments and investing tactics that I have read about in this thread.

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If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

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cottonjim
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Pg. 5 and 6 of this thread cracked me up, also reminded me of a good joke.

Father goes duck hunting one day and gets his limit, that night he and his whole family enjoyed duck for supper.
Later that evening after everyone had gone to bed the youngest daughter came running into mom and dads room crying. What's wrong asked mother?
I peed a BB mom, I peed a BB.
Don't worry dear your father must have missed one while he was cleaning the ducks we had for supper, go back to bed.
A few minutes later the middle boy came running into the bed room crying, what is wrong mother asked?
I peed a BB, I peed a BB.
Slightly irratated mother told him not to worry and to go back to bed, father just missed a few BB's while cleaning the ducks they had for supper.
Not long after, the oldest boy comes running into the bedromm, Mom, Dad, wake up I....
We know, you peed a BB.

No, I was J*cking off and I shot the dog.

--------------------
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

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MAGICK
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"When people are joking with the Munchkin Man, the Munchkin Man thinks they're being serious."

So you thought Purl was going to eat you?
See now that is called "wishful" thinking, and you were hoping she was serious.

That was a joke...you can laugh.

MM please see my reply to your post in the thread titled "Earth to Mushkin Man" this way I don't have to muddle up Purl's thread with a bunch of medical jargon.

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Purl Gurl
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MagicK, it is ok. I do not like _his_ spam.

line, blank line, line, blank line, line, blank...

Annoying. His articles use up two-thirds of my
monitor for no reason. He is welcomed to join
in here at Allstocks, but dang, trim down the
physical size of those articles.

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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Alright, alright, I know my articles usually
take up your entire screen. However, every line
of my articles are pure entertainment!

...and you boys better agree with me.

Know what I did this afternoon, huh, huh?

I spent the afternoon working post hole diggers
digging hole after hole after hole after....

"Be sure those holes are on eight feet centers,
twenty-four inches deep and wider at the bottom,
and don't forget to...."

SHUT UP ALREADY! I KNOW HOW TO DIG POST HOLES.

Wednesday afternoon, Home Depot is delivering
one-hundred-twelve sixty pound sacks of pre-mix
concrete, along with a lot of four-by-four posts,
rails and fence boards. We have to lug those up
our hill, by hand.

You think I am cranky tonight, wait until the
night of Wednesday, maybe even Thursday as well.

Taha

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66inxs
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digging post holes is certainly not fun. i dug them three at a time and used water to make the digging easier. awful blisters even with gloves. texas clay is tough especially with rocks. then i spotted an old ford tractor with an auger and a for sale sign on it - got that job finished real quick !

fences like yours will look great when finished though. rule one - never pay someone else to do what you can do yourself ! GL on your fence and drink plenty of liquids while you are working !

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I'm from Missouri - Show Me!

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Purl Gurl
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Wealthy people do not become wealthy by paying
others to do their work for them. Yes, we can
afford to hire contractors but this is not in
keeping with our upbringing. We never pay others
to perform a job we can do on our own.

Despite being wealthy we cannot forget our once
living in poverty nor shake off this habit of
saving money and earning money, every chance
possible presented.

We still shop at Goodwill, thrift stores and
yard sales, although we could afford to buy
an upscale clothing store if so desired.

This is why we are wealthy.

Purl Gurl

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Purl Gurl
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Well, maybe a slight difference today.

When we pay at Goodwill, we say, "Keep the change."

When we tip a waitress, our tip is never less than
one-hundred percent of the food tab. Sometimes we
tip two-hundred percent.

Girl Scouts selling cookies front of a store.
I always buy two boxes, turn around and tell
those girls, "Look how big my butt is. I do not
need to eat cookies." I hand the cookies back to
the Girl Scouts, "Here, sell these cookies again
and double your money," then walk away.

Salvation Army at Christmas, we always stuff
their little red pots with twenty dollar bills.

We have not forgotten how hard is life, have
not forgotten to help the Salt of the Earth,
the hard working people. We have not forgotten
the joy of helping others in need.

A bit of bragging. This rental we are working
on, we could rent the house for $1500 per
month in a flash. I am talking to a young pair
with a four year old child referred to us. I am
hot, sweaty, cranky. Boy explains they both work
full time, out of town, have to pay for a daycare
center, having a hard time. He explains they live
in an apartment, a one bedroom apartment with
no parking facilities, no garage, just a plain
upstairs apartment in a rat cage setting. They
are paying $1350 per month. She adds, "We just
cannot afford to live there, too far from work
and I do not like it there."

I say, "Ok, we will rent this house to you for
$1200 per month." They look at each other, then,
"Are you joking?" I am not.

When you do the Good, this Good comes back to you.

Taha

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glassman
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When you do the Good, this Good comes back to you.

i wish...

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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66inxs
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i agree with that 100% pg. you can't beat good karma. people who didn't work their way us don't understand why i picked up a dime i found while getting gas, or why we don't waste money, or why we give others less fortunate a break. i would have given the couple with a four year old a break too, but would also hold them to the contract! i am guilty of doing too much pro bono work an giving too many people breaks. however, that tractor with an auger for around $500 if i remember right was a good investment ! have a great day working on your new fence.

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I'm from Missouri - Show Me!

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Purl Gurl
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 -

"Not battleships," you whine.

How about old cars? I am all of one, two, maybe
three years old when this picture is taken. I see
what looks like a 1961, maybe a 1963 Chevrolet
in there. Do you see this car?

This is about the time my mother died. I know this
is my first trip to California. This is probably
Santa Monica beach, around '62 to '63 year. I am
told we had relatives up in Laurel Canyon or
some canyon where rich people live today, straight
up from this beach.

Most likely, this is right after the Winter my
mom died of Cholera. I was brought out here to
be raised by relatives. However, my aunt and
uncle, who brought me here, did not have the
heart to leave me. They took me back to our
farm in Oklahoma, at much expense to them,
an expense they really could not afford.

Thank God. I am indebted to them. Not for their
kind hearts, I would not have enjoyed a farm
life nor would have been raised a Choctaw.

Today's prices, those cars represent about
two-million, three-million dollars in value
if sold today to car collectors.

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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You pick up dimes! Ha! I pick up pennies unless
tails up, which is bad luck.

A dime, heck, in my day, that is two soda pops
over at Crutcher's general store, soda pops
in real glass bottles!

Taha

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66inxs
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61 vert in bg, 61 bubbletop in bg, 60 black hdtp in fg all worth big bucks today. blue 63 chev 4 door on right 60 white flattop in bg.
those were the days !

your aunt and uncle already received a rich reward for their kindness !

--------------------
I'm from Missouri - Show Me!

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Purl Gurl
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"your aunt and uncle already received a rich reward
for their kindness...."

Oh sure, as if having me around is a rich reward!

More like having a badger constantly chewing
on your foot, day and night.

I have not told you boys about all the bad things
in life I have done, like running away from home
around nine or ten years old, ending up in
New Boston, Texas. Took my family weeks to find
me down there.

Shoot, I took up secretly drinking White Lightning
when I was about seven or eight years old. This
is why I am brain damaged today.

Heck, I even shot a cousin in his ass with
shotgun loaded with birdshot. No serious injury
other than having to lie naked on our front porch
while Grandpa picked buckshot out of his butt,
and afterwards having his butt cleaned with
coal oil, today's kerosine.

He whined and cried! The butt switching Grandpa
gave me hurt a lot worse! I did not cry a tear.

My cousin had it coming though, he squashed
my favorite sh!t bug for sh!t bug races.

Taha

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glassman
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More like having a badger constantly chewing
on your foot, day and night.

LOL...

i doubt the butswitching hurt worse...

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Purl Gurl
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"i doubt the butswitching hurt worse..."

No, no! You must believe me! One of Grandpa's
butt switchings is a lot worse then having
your butt blasted with bird shot.

The worse part is Grandpa would silently hand
you his pocket knife. We knew what to do. We
had to go out back, find a switch just the
right size, thickness, flexible, about two
feet long, then cut it from a tree. That is
what makes a butt switching worse than a
buckshot loaded butt; this switching you
know is coming!

Only regret I have is the shotgun was not
loaded with rock salt.

Odd, yes, Glassman? Today, if a child shot
another child with a shotgun, this would be
juvenile jail until eighteen. However, kids
today do not have an intent of loading a butt
with birdshot, kids today intend to kill.

Back then, on the farm, this is "just deserves."

He should NOT have stepped on my sh!tbug.

Taha

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glassman
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your bug was faster than his?

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Purl Gurl
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Besides, my cousin took off running like crazy
when he saw me coming with a shotgun. He was
a good thirty yards away before I could lug
that heavy shotgun up and pull its trigger.
That shotgun was almost as tall as me.

Damn near dropped the shotgun when it fired.
I think I was more surprised than my cousin.

Grandma was a little mad, too. She had to
hand sew up the holes in his overalls.

Say, did I tell you boys about the time I took
a frog gig to another cousin because he pushed
me down into wet pig sh!t?

http://www.sbtoutdoors.com/fish_spears.htm

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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"your bug was faster than his?"

Ever know me to bet on a loser? Do not answer!

That sh!tbug was the fastest one in all the county.
My bug would run so fast, sparks would come off
its feet and smoke trailed from it rearend.

He knew my bug was fast, and he squashed it!
That was outright mean! Dang, I would have
won a handful of marbles with that bug.

He deserved to have his butt loaded with buckshot.

Taha

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glassman
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heh, sounds like you were cheating and using a bombardier beetle.... no wonder he squooooshed it...

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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66inxs
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you made their life exciting and kept them young! you did them a favor ! why be bored ?

--------------------
I'm from Missouri - Show Me!

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cottonjim
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They shoulda just had your bug tested for performance enhancing substances, like maybe it was munching on some cheeta sh!t before the races [Wink]

--------------------
If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?

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Purl Gurl
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"like maybe it was munching on some cheeta sh!t
before the races"

Well, gosh, you are right on the verge of
suggesting I was cheating. Might as well
get this over with.

Trick is to take a sip of White Lightning, which
is, of course, hidden in a tiny pint Mason jar
in the milking shed, behind which we held our
sh!tbug races so our elders would not catch us.

You have to use a pint jar because those are
small and easy to hide under cow crap, hay,
up in the rafters, whatever. Would not want
your elders to know you are stealing thier
White Lightning from their quart Mason jars.

So, you have a tiny sip of White Lightning.
You park that little sip of White Lightning
over in a cheek pocket. Just about time for
the race start, moments before, you spit a
little on your bug for "good luck." That
alcohol sets the bug on fire and he runs
like all get out!

Suppose my cousin figured out there was more
to my spit than just spit. He stepped on my
bug squashing the poor thing. Least the bug
was drunk when it met its demise.

Alright, alright, my cousin caught me cheating.

He squashes my bug, I spit fire, run to the
farmhouse, fetch a shotgun, run back, he runs
for the forest, I blast away, we end up in
lots of trouble.

This might have to do with my other cousin
shoving me down into wet pig sh!t in our pig
pen; revenge for shooting our cousin.

However, I paid him back for shoving me down
by catching him unawares then jabbing him in
the leg with a three prong frog gig, nothing
serious, just three tiny holes and some blood.

He got the kerosine treatment, I got a butt switching.

Not that I am ornery or anything, a girl just
has to stick up for herself.

Sure got a lot of butt switchings, a way lot.

Say, did I tell you about the time Crutcher
Hendon tossed me off our school bus for bashing
a boy over his head with my geography book?

Taha

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glassman
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Crutcher can't possibly be a real name PG..

sheesh Taha, barely have time to post toady [Razz]

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Purl Gurl
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Yeah, his real name. Crutcher is what all
of us, young and old, called him. Everyone
called him Crutcher, for decades.

His real name is Kutcher Hendon. Okies do not
pronounce Kutcher as Cut Cher but rather as
Crut Cher just a we pronounce Homma as Homer.
Home Mah versus Home Er.

http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.com/~manningmassey/eagletown.htm

You will find Crutcher and his entire family there; Hendon.

Moss Jointer, many others of my childhood are
buried there. Moss is a great story in himself.

Crutcher is amongst the most honest and most
famous of all characters of Eagletown history.
Many Eagletown famous are there, including
some of my relatives. During my childhood,
I knew almost all those people you find.

I will write about him in the future.

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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VANDIVER, Lewis P.

My great uncle, the drunk who rode a horse.

This is the story about two uncles,

"Lewis is drunk again."

"Nah, Lewis ain't drunk. His horse is drunk."

That story.

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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TODD, Lonnie Carroll

The man whose cow my uncles ran over and
became high centered. Had to use Grandpa's
team of mules to pull the car off the cow.

Lonnie was paid a gallon of White Lightning.

Remember that story?

Taha

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Purl Gurl
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ROSS, Mamie J

Mamie J, causes me to cry when I think of her.

She inspired me to education and to English.

She taught four generations of our family.

MCKINNEY, Dave

Our sheriff. He bought White Lightning from
my cousins and uncles.

Stories I could tell! Some of my stories do
seem unreal, but each and every is true story.

Taha

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T e x
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Don't tell Crutcher that ain't his name! [Eek!]


Glass, the oldest neon guy in North Texas is "Winky."

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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glassman
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is he a glass tubing bender? or is he just plugged into a high voltage source? [Smile]

or both?

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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glassman
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Stories I could tell! Some of my stories do
seem unreal, but each and every is true story.

Taha


Crutcher can't possibly be a real name PG = do tell, where i come from....

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Purl Gurl
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I contribute my ornery nature to this, a story
told once before.

Grandpa is working at training a young green mule
by teaming him up with an old trained mule. Grandpa
is trying harness, attach the chains, all that stuff.

The young green mule starts acting up, making both
mules nervous. They begin starting, kicking, biting,
all those nice things mules do. Grandpa yells,
"Hep me, Momma, hep me Momma!" Momma is Grandma.

She runs out to the barnyard, we all do.

Grandma is helping. Grandpa hollers, "Get in front
of those mules!" She does and those huge mules
promptly trample her. She survives ok, not so bad,
lots of bruises, soreness.

Years later, out in our milking shed, a young
cow is being trained to be milked by Grandpa.
Details are in my original story. The cow has
Grandpa pinned between her short horns and is
tossing him up against the roof, thrashing him
pretty bad. "Hep me, Momma, hep me, Momma!"

Grandma and all of us run to the milking shed.
She peeks inside, grins, slams the door then
leans against the door, "Now tell me to get in
front of those mules, again!"

This happens years after the mule incident.

Much more to these stories but this does explain
my ornery nature and why I am so quick to extract
my pound of flesh from others who offend me.

That story well exemplifies our fierce honesty.
An-eye-for-an-eye and always honest about this.

Those are the type of lessons I learned during
life. No sissy stuff, no laziness, just hard
honest work, with a bullet.

Taha

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bdgee
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Folks here abouts often don't tend to go with names outlandes approave of a-tall.

Had a friend from down on the coast whose initials were J.B.M. The lastname was Scot and as I heard him explain when ask "What sort of paarents would name a child Joe Billy McMinn?", "Well, McMinn is pure Scot and came with them and Jo Billy is because they didn't want anyone calling me by some nick name."

It is real common here to mame a boy Bob rather than Robert and to name a girl Kate rather than Katherine.

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Purl Gurl
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 -

So old and so tattered, I cannot repair this
picture, even with digital processing.

It is a Buick, maybe '52 or '53 "three hole" Buick.
Roadmaster, I think. Those holes signify the level,
but I cannot remember the correct style.

Taha

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T e x
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nah, he used to go on benders, though [Big Grin]

His dad (years deceased) ran the school where the current top glass bender studied; in turn, that guy (the top bender) is who is trained my pal. Winky and I are both installation guys...not benders. Some guys only bend, some only install...increasingly few do both, in my experience...although my pal does both...

Winky's a funny guy. Was a streetfighter in the 50s (7 "bouts" in one night, lol) who went on to be an Army boxing champ (he won a special Zippo lighter, which he still thinks is funny), then trained/managed succesfully for many years...A few years ago, when he had just turned 65? A hot-rod kid (early to mid-20s) picked a fight over some freeway hooha...Winky pulled over--not wanting the kid to follow to his house--got out and acted spastic/retarded...till the kid got close enough--you know the rest...

I asked him, "So did you leave him just laying there?"

"Why, hell, yeahyuh...he was too big for my skinny, old azz to pick up--and I didn't wanna be there when he woke up, neither..."

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

Posts: 21062 | From: Fort Worth | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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