Why is the blackboard green? Why do they call it a black light when it's really purple? Why do hotdogs come in packs of 8 when hotdog rolls come in packs of 10? What do you call male ballerinas? How come the sun makes your skin darker but your hair lighter? If you dig a tunnel straight through the earth, will you come out with your feet first? Why are pennies bigger than dimes? Did they have antiques in the olden days? Are zebras black with white stripes, or white with black stripes? If Pringles are "so good that once you pop, you can't stop" why do they come with a resealable lid? Is a sleeping bag a nap sack? What came first, the fruit or the color orange?
Where does the white go when the snow melts? Can blind people see their dreams? If there's an exception to every rule, is there an exception to that rule? Why do you click on start to exit Microsoft Windows? Have you ever wondered why Trix are only for kids? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why do most cars have speedometers that go up to at least 130 when you legally can't go that fast on any road? Why do they call it "getting your dog fixed" if afterwards it doesn't work anymore? If Wile Coyote had enough money for all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? If masochists like to torture themselves, wouldn't they do it best by not torturing themselves? and if so, aren't we all masochist? Why is it called lipstick when it always comes off? If when people freak out they are said to be "having a cow", when cows freak out are they said to be "having a person?" Aren't you tired of people asking you rhetorical questions and you don't know if they are rhetorical questions or not? Why is a person that handles your money called a BROKER? Why do we leave expensive cars in the driveway, when we keep worthless junk in the garage? Why do they have handicap parking spaces in front of they skating rings? What happens if someone loses a lost and found box? Why do they call it taking a dump? Shouldn't it be leaving a dump? What if the hokey-pokey really is what it's all about? Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg? If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Why do banks leave the door wide open but the pens chained to the counter? What would happen if an Irresistible Force met an Immovable Object? What's the difference between a wise man and a wise guy? If Americans throw rice at weddings, do the Chinese throw hamburgers? How can you chop down a tree and then chop it up? How can you hear yourself think? If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? Is a man full of wonder a wonderful man? Is a hot car cool or is a cool car hot? How come thaw and unthaw mean the same thing? If The Flintstones were B.C. and before America, why did they have Flintstones Thanksgiving and Flintstones Christmas? If a Man is talking in the forest and there is no woman there to hear him, is he still wrong? Why is it that when a person tells you there's over a million stars in the universe you believe them, but if someone tells you there's wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure? If you fed a bee nothing but oranges, would it start making marmalade? Why is it you get a penny for your thoughts, but have to put in your two cents worth? If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? If the speed of movement is slower than the speed of light - how fast is a moving light? why do you get on a bus and a train but get into a car? Why is it good to be a Daddy's girl, but bad to be a Momma's boy? How can something be new and improved? if it's new, what was it improving on? Is Disney world the only people trap operated by a mouse? Why did they name that underwear company fruit of the loom? Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open? Why do the ABC song, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, and Baa Baa Black Sheep all have the same tune? Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup? How does Santa get into a house that doesn't have a chimney? If you get cheated by the better business bureau, who do you complain to? If you're in hell, and are mad at someone, where do you tell them to go? What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane? What would Cheese say if they got their picture taken? Why are turds pinched off at the end? I know you can be overwhelmed, and I know you can be underwhelmed, but can you just be whelmed? If Barbie is so popular, then why do you have to buy her friends? Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn't usually wear any pants? If you take an oriental person and spin him around a few times, does he become disoriented? How come overtones and undertones are the same thing? What would you use to dilute water? What should one call a male ladybird? How can military troops be deployed if they have never been ployed to begin with? If you lived in Siberia and you wronged the Russians government, where would they send you? Why do they call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere but call it a hemorrhoid when its in your ass? If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose? Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to? Aren't all generalizations false? Can atheists get insurance for acts of God? Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling Movie! Movie!? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? Did Adam and Eve have navels? Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip? Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window! Do fish get cramps after eating? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Do one legged ducks swim in circles? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's? Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? How can there be "self help GROUPS"? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign? How do you know when yogurt goes bad? How do you know when you're out of invisible ink? How does a shelf salesman keep his store from looking empty? How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings? How fast do you have to go to keep up with the sun so you're never in darkness? How is it possible to have a civil war? If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages? If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound? If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it? If a tree fell on a mime in the forest, would he make a sound and would anyone care? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If a woman can be a meter maid, can a man be a meter butler? If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? If an orange is orange, why isn't a lime called a green or a lemon called a yellow? If God dropped acid, would he see people? How many people thought of the Post-It note before it was invented but just didn't have anything to jot it down on? How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors? If 75% of all accidents happen within 5 miles of home, why not move 10 miles away? If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success? If a bus station is where a bus stops, and a train station is where a train stops, why do I have a work station on my desk? If a case of the clap spreads, is it then considered a case of the applause? If a cat always lands on its feet, and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you tied buttered bread on top of a cat? If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar do you believe him? If a dog sweats through his tongue, why does he have armpits? If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? If a mute child swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working? If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP? If inert is to be stationary, what is ert? If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan? If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from? If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too? If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes? If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? If quitters never win, and winners never quit, who came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? If soap is used to make you clean, why does it leave a scum? If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself? If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with? If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill herself, is it considered a hostage situation? If superglue is so good, why doesn't it stick to the side of the tube? If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why's it still #2? If the cops arrest a mime, do they have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? If the Energizer Bunny attacks someone, is it charged with battery? If the folks at the psychic hotlines were really psychic, wouldn't they call you first? If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If women ran the Pentagon, would missiles and submarines be shaped differently? If women wear a pair of pants, a pair of glasses, and a pair of earrings, why don't they wear a pair of bras? If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry? If you bear a child, why do you have a cow? If you can read the marking, isn't that end already up? If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots? If you dive into a pool of dry ice, can you swim without getting wet? If you got into a taxi and he started driving backwards, would the driver end up owing you money? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If you have a friend who works for the Psychic Friends Network, should you plan a surprise birthday party for them? If you have an open mind why don't your brains fall out? If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible? If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong? If you play a blank tape at full volume and have a mime for a neighbor, will he complain? If you put freeze-dried coffee in the microwave, will you go back in time? If you spend your day doing nothing, how do you know when you're done? If you steal a clean slate, does it go on your record? If you take a shower, where do you put it? If you throw a cat out a car window does it become kitty litter? If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia can you read correctly? If you're traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens? Instead of talking to your plants, if you yell at them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure? Is a castrated pig disgruntled? Is it possible to be totally partial? Is it progress if a cannibal learns to eat with a fork? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Is there a Dr. Salt? Isn't hot water already hot? Can you grow birds by planting birdseed? Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach? Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims? Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? Shouldn't it be called a "near hit"? Shouldn't it be some things in moderation? Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"? There are 24 hours in a day, and 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? What came first the chicken or the egg? What color is a chameleon on a mirror? What color would a smurf turn if you choked it? What did we do before the Law of Gravity was passed? What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious? What do sheep count when they can't sleep? What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants? What does it mean if you break a mirror with a rabbits foot? What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man? What happened to the first 6 ups? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? What happens when you call a 1-800 number collect? What is a free gift? Aren't all gifts free? What is another word for "thesaurus"? What is the speed of dark? What part of the monkey do you use a monkey wrench on? What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? What's another word for synonym? When blind people go to the bathroom, how do they know when they are done wiping their butt? When people lose weight, where does it go? When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? When vultures are on their deathbed, are they ever tempted to eat themselves? When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away? When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting? When you're sending someone styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Where are Preparations A through G? Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"? Who invented accents? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why are the cabs from the Yellow Cab Company painted orange? Why are there never any artist's materials in a drawing room? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting? Why are we afraid of falling? Shouldn't we be afraid of the sudden stop? Why aren't there bulletproof pants? Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Why didn't Luke Skywalker tell Darth Vader to turn to the light side of the Force? Why do airlines call flights nonstop? Won't they all stop eventually? Why do bars advertise live bands? What does a dead band sound like? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If your feet smell and your nose runs, are you built upside down? Why do guys wear underpants? Why do people who only eat natural foods drink decaffeinated coffee?
-------------------- Have a good GREEN day! Posts: 111 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Why does it hurt when I pee? Could it be an STD?
Why is it that if 98.6 is normal body temperature, then why is 98.6 feels so dam hot?? In my case probably high blood pressure. Maybe thats why the smoke always comes at me. (and MOM said it was cause smoke follows beauty)uh huh....
Should you call a cow with no legs "ground beef"?
Should a hooker with no legs be called a "nightcrawler"?
Posts: 45 | From: Cincinnati | Registered: Sep 2005
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