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.. BREAKING NEWS: GOD OVERRULES SUPREME COURT VERDICT Bush to be smitten later today In a stunning development this morning, God invoked the "one nation, under God" clause of the Pledge of Allegiance to overrule the Supreme Court's decision that handed the White House to George Bush. "I'm not sure where the Supreme Court gets off," God said this morning on a rare Today Show appearance, "but I'm sure as hell not going to lie back and let Bush get away with this bullchit." "I've watched analysts argue for weeks now that the exact vote count in Florida 'will never be known.' Well, I'm God and I DO know exactly who voted for whom. Let's cut to the chase: Gore won Florida by exactly 20,219 votes." Shocking political analysts and pundits, God's unexpected verdict overrules the official Electoral College tally and awards Florida to Al Gore, giving him a 289-246 victory. The Bush campaign is analyzing God's Word for possible grounds for appeal. "God's ruling is a classic over-reach," argued Bush campaign strategist Jim Baker. "Clearly, a divine intervention in a U.S. Presidential Election is unprecedented, unjust, and goes against the constitution of the state of Florida." "Jim Baker's a jackass," God responded. "He's got some surprises ahead of him, let me tell you. HOT ones, if you know what I mean." God, who provided the exact vote counts for every Florida precinct, explained that bad balloting machinery and voter confusion were no grounds to give the White House to "a friggin' idiot." "Look, only 612 people in Palm Beach County voted for Buchanan. Get real! The rest meant to vote for Gore. Don't believe me? I'll name them: Anderson, Pete; Anderson, Sam, Jr.; Arthur, James; Barnhardt, Ron..."
Our Lord then went on to note that he was displeased with George W. Bush's prideful ways and announced that he would officially smite him today. In an act of wrath unlike any reported since the Book of Job, God has taken all of Bush's goats and livestock, stripped him of his wealth and possessions, sold his family into slavery, forced the former presidential candidate into hard labor in a salt mine, and afflicted him with deep boils.
Dick Cheney will reportedly receive leprosy.
-------------------- Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.
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Dan Quayle coulda stolen the election just as easily that year....
and YES, he was dady Bush's choice for Veep...
hmmm???? maybe he was preparing US for dubya....
"I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people. -- J. Danforth Quayle
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- J. Danforth Quayle
"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... Mars is somewhat the same distance from the Sun, which is very important. We have seen pictures where there are canals, we believe, and water. If there is water, that means there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 8/11/89
"What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/15/88
"I believe we are on an irreversible trend toward more freedom and democracy - but that could change." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/22/89
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 12/6/89
"May our nation continue to be the beakon of hope to the world." -- The Quayles' 1989 Christmas card.
"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 11/30/88
-------------------- Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.
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"I have made good judgements in the Past. I have made good judgements in the future." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"The future will be better tomorrow." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/21/88
"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." -- Vice President Dan Quayle to Sam Donaldson, 8/17/89
"We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a *part* of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a *part* of Europe." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Public speaking is very easy." -- Vice President Dan Quayle to reporters in 10/88
"I am not part of the problem. I am a Republican." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls." -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"When I have been asked during these last weeks who caused the riots and the killing in L.A., my answer has been direct and simple: Who is to blame for the riots? The rioters are to blame. Who is to blame for the killings? The killers are to blame. -- Vice President Dan Quayle
"Illegitimacy is something we should talk about in terms of not having it." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 5/20/92 (reported in Esquire, 8/92)
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/22/90
"For NASA, space is still a high priority." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/5/90
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children." -- Vice President Dan Quayle, 9/18/90
-------------------- Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.
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posted
Don't you think Judge Thomas might get mad if you threw him at a wedding? Anyway, he might get a leg or arm broken. Then how would he crawl up behind Scalia to kiss hi
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see how lucky we are???? LOL
