Sisters of ST. FRANCIS >-------------------------------------------------------------------------------- > > A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he >notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: > >SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS >HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION >He thinks it was a figment of his imagination and he drives on >without second thought. Soon he sees another sign, which says: > >SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS >HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION >5 MILES >Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real.... >Then he drives past a third sign saying: > >SISTERS OF ST.FRANCIS >HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION >NEXT RIGHT > >His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.On >the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign> next >to the door reading: > >SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS > >He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a >long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you, my son?" >He answers, I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested >in possibly doing business. "Very well, my son. Please follow me." > >The man is led through many winding passages and is soon quite >disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please >knock on this door." > >He does as he is told and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin >cup answers the door. This nun instructs,Please place $100 in the cup, >then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway." He >gets $100 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup. >He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling >it shut behind him.. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself >back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: > >GO IN PEACE. >YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED >BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. >SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER Posts: 3607 | From: NJ - Outside Phila. | Registered: Mar 2004
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> A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She > was a > very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very > little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper > for a > ranch hand. > > Two men applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She > thought > long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire > the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house > than the > drunk. > > He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a > lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch > was doing > very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, > "You've > done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into > town > and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into > town > one Saturday night. One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return. Two > o'clock, and no hired hand. > > He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the > rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting > for > him. She quietly called him over to her. "Unbutton my blouse and take it > off," she said. Trembling, he did as she directed. Now take off my > boots." > He did as she asked, ever so slowly. Now take off my socks." He removed > each gently and placed them neatly by her boots. > > Now take off my skirt." He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her > eyes in the fire light. Now take off my bra." Again, with trembling > hands, > he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. Now," she said, "take > off my panties." By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down > and off. > > Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town > again, you're fired."