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Posted by glassman on :
 
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish.

The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel...! No. Think of another wish."

The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying...know what they really want when they say, 'Nothing'...know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"
 


Posted by mondayschild on :
 
Do you know what I'm thinking? If your wife reads this board, you will be outside with Rover tonight

Janie

quote:
Originally posted by glassman:
A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie!

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah, blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes. So you can forget about getting three wishes. You only get one wish.

The man sat down on the beach and thought about it for awhile. Then he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii; but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so that I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed and said, "That's impossible! Think of the logistics of that! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of how much concrete... how much steel...! No. Think of another wish."

The man tried to think of another wish. Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced several times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So I wish that I could understand women... know how they feel inside and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment...know why they're crying...know what they really want when they say, 'Nothing'...know how to make them truly happy...."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"



 


Posted by glassman on :
 
Janie, my wife knows i try, and she usually forgives me in my ignorance.....

fortunately my daughter and my mom don't have anythng to say about where i sleep.....
 


Posted by mondayschild on :
 
Nice call on GTEL. Currently on radar I'm watching CSCA,EFCY,PRMN(should have bought it yesterday),TRDM,SPRL(used to be SPRU),TTCS, and MSITF. Still holding QBID, GFEN,AANI, QANT, and some MLON. Also thinking about AMTX...nice dip today
 
Posted by keithsan on :
 
busy plate
 
Posted by mondayschild on :
 
Yes it is. Drives me nuts when I am at work and away from the computer. But I always have my watchlist available during the times I am home...and I have the weekends to do research...when my daughter allows me to...LOL. Thankfully, vacation is less than a week away


quote:
Originally posted by keithsan:
busy plate


 


Posted by mondayschild on :
 
Glass...you've got mail


 


Posted by glassman on :
 
A guy goes to a travel agent and books a two-week cruise for himself and his girlfriend. A couple days before the cruise, the travel agent calls and says the cruise has been canceled, but he can get them on a three-day cruise instead. The guy says "OK," and goes to the pharmacy to buy three Dramamine and three condoms.

Next day, the agent calls back and says he now can book a five-day cruise. The guy says he'll take it. Returns to the same pharmacy and buys two more Dramamine and two more condoms.

The following day, the travel agent calls again and says he can now book an eight-day cruise. Guy says, "OK," and goes back to the pharmacy and asks for three more Dramamine and three more condoms.

Finally, the pharmacist asks, "Look, if it makes you sick, how come you keep doing it?"
 


Posted by glassman on :
 
front end clerk in a pharmacy has just been admonished by the owner for missing too many sales. "I'm sorry" the boss says "But one more missed sale and your fired"

The next customer that comes in has a terrible cough and asks the problem clerk for help. Unable to recall where the cough remedies are, the nervous clerk points to a box of Ex-Lax and says "Here, buy this then go over to our cooler and take all of it with plenty of water".

The customer thanks him and obliges. Finishing his last glass of water, the customer exits the pharmacy. Once outside he stops, takes a few faltering steps, then hugs a telephone pole. The boss, having witnessed the entire scene, approaches the clerk and asks him what he recommended.

"Ex-Lax," says the clerk hesitantly.
"Ex-Lax !" yells the boss. "That won't help a cough!"
"Sure it does," says the clerk. "Look,.. he's afraid to cough."
 


Posted by Kate on :
 
I can tell you what they are thinking, when they say "nothing". It is that there is no way in Hades, that they are going to be able to get the man to understand what they are thinking, so why try?
 
Posted by pennyearned on :
 
Ohhh!!! But they REALLY want us to--that is just the impetus for us to speak (or is it...stick our foot in our mouth).


quote:
Originally posted by Kate:
I can tell you what they are thinking, when they say "nothing". It is that there is no way in Hades, that they are going to be able to get the man to understand what they are thinking, so why try?


 


Posted by glassman on :
 
hmmmmm......
this is dangerous water here....

i don't think anything i say will be right....
 


Posted by Bob Frey on :
 
Kate try here:
http://allstocks.com/fun/html/for_women.html


Glass try here:
http://allstocks.com/fun/html/for_men.html

Others try here:
http://allstocks.com/fun/html/unisex.html


 


Posted by Kate on :
 
Gee thanks, Bob! Not sure if those make me feel better, or worse!
 


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