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Author Topic: Going To The Beach
Munchkin Man
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Greetings To All:

Do you like to go to the beach?

The Munchkin Man doesn't like to go to the beach.

The following is a true story:
_______________

THE MUNCHKIN MAN GOES TO THE BEACH

It was a hot and muggy late Sunday morning in July.

The Munchkin Man was a rising senior at his local high school.

The Munchkin Man asked his Mama if he could borrow the family car.

It was the only family car. A 1963 white Rambler. It had a 3-speed manual transmission with the gear shift on the steering wheel.

The Munchkin Man told his Mama that he needed the car to provide transportation for two of his friends at Assateague Beach, where the Methodist Youth Fellowship (MYF) was having a Sunday afternoon picnic.

The Munchkin Man's Mama was overjoyed to hear that her own son was participating in such a nice and wholesome social activity.

She told the Munchkin Man how proud she was of the Munchkin Man. She gave the Munchkin Man a hug and the keys to the family car.

The Munchkin Man took the keys and drove off to pick up his two friends. And off they went.

But not to the beach. At least not yet.

Instead, they drove over to the mainland where they knew about this store that would sell them some beer.

The Methodist Picnic?

That was a little "story" the Munchkin Man made up to tell his Mama. This was all planned.

It took about a half an hour to drive over to the mainland and buy the beer. One of the Munchkin Man's friends was only 16 but looked well over 21. He was the one assigned the job of going inside and buying the beer.

He had no trouble at all. The Munchkin Man and his other friend whooped and hollered as he came out of the store carrying that case of Budweisers under his arms.

About 45 minutes later, the Munchkin Man and his friends made it to the parking lot of the beach over on Assateague Island. By that time they got there, they had each drank about 3 beers apiece.

They sat out in the parking lot and proceeded to drink up all the rest of the beer, tossing the cans out the window as each one was finished.

When the beer was gone, they had each drank 8 beers apiece. None of them had eaten any lunch yet.

The Munchkin Man and his friends got out of the car and walked out onto the beach. They were feeling light headed and dizzy. None of them could walk a straight line.

They started to flirt with strange girls by flopping down beside them on their beach blankets and saying naughty things. And touching them too.

The girls didn't like that very much.

A short while later, the Munchkin Man's friends started feeling sick. So, they laid down on the beach and dug holes in the sand where they began to puke.

The Munchkin Man started feeling sick too.

Instead of laying down to puke in the sand with his friends, the Munchkin Man went to the mens' room located back near the parking lot where the Munchkin Man's family car was parked.

The Munchkin Man found a stall and shut the door.

As the Munchkin Man was heaving his guts out, the door opened from behind.

The Munchkin Man turned around to see who it was.

It was a National Wildlife Park Ranger.

He asked the Munchkin Man what was wrong.

The Munchkin Man told the ranger he had gotten sick from eating a bad hot dog.

The ranger didn't believe the Munchkin Man.

He made the Munchkin Man get out of the stall and asked the Munchkin Man for his name.

The Munchkin Man gave him a fake name. Then the ranger asked him for his ID. The Munchkin Man told him he didn't have it because it was in his car.

Then the Munchkin Man realized he blew it.

The ranger made the Munchkin Man lead the way to his car.

By that time the Munchkin Man's two friends had made themselves back to the parking lot, where they were still puking their guts out, all over and around the Munchkin Man's family car.

By this time another ranger had joined in.

They were mean to the Munchkin Man.

They were mean to his friends.

They made the Munchkin Man and his friends pick up all the beer cans they had tossed out into the parking lot.

Then one of the rangers made the Munchkin Man give him his telephone number. He walked over to a nearby phone booth and called the Munchkin Man's Mama.

He told her the Munchkin Man was in no condition to drive.

He got her permission to drive the Munchkin Man home.

One ranger drove the Munchkin Man's family car home with his two friends inside. The other ranger followed in his ranger truck from behind.

When the rangers reached the driveway of the Munchkin Man's home, the Munchkin Man's Mama and Daddy shot out of the front door like two cannon balls.

Then the rangers told the Munchkin Man's Mama and Daddy what the Munchkin Man had done.

They started yelling at the Munchkin Man.

The Munchkin Man ran right up to his Mama and tried to tell her he got sick on a bad hot dog.

She didn't believe the Munchkin Man either.

She told the Munchkin Man to go straight to bed.

The Munchkin Man was on restriction for 3 weeks.

Every day the Munchkin Man's Mama and Daddy made him go outside and do some yard work.

The Munchkin Man hated yard work.

The Munchkin Man still hates yard work to this very day.

The Munchkin Man doesn't like beer anymore.

And now you know why the Munchkin Man doesn't like to go to the beach.
__________

Munchkin Man

Posts: 558 | From: Munchkin Man | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glassman
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only three weeks? your parents and the park rangers were very lenient Munchie...

you're lucky the park rangers didn't make you talk to the Judge.. [Eek!]

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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IMAKEMONEY
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I LOVE THE BEACH MUNCHIE!

--------------------
LIFE IS 10% HOW YOU MAKE IT AND 90% HOW YOU TAKE IT!

Posts: 9276 | From: San Diego CA | Registered: Jul 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
jordanreed
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I could only read a coupla your sentences..

god, you're boring

--------------------
jordan

Posts: 5812 | From: st paul,mn | Registered: Feb 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Upside
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quote:
Originally posted by jordanreed:
I could only read a coupla your sentences..

god, you're boring

Lol! Upside agrees.
Posts: 5729 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Munchkin Man
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quote:
Originally posted by jordanreed:
I could only read a coupla your sentences..

god, you're boring

_________________

Greetings Jordanreed:

You just haven't learned how to appreciate fine literature.

Some people complain that the Munchkin Man is too "verbose."

The Munchkin Man would like to let you know that he is the reincarnation of both Charles Dickens and Jonathan Swift.

This was during an era when "verbosity" was in style because people appreciated the beauty of words and plenty of them.

The writing skills of the most prolific authors of that time were infinitely greater than they are today.

The same thing applies to the reading skills of most Americans today. Many of them are too lazy to read anything of substance in this modern age.

It is the Munchkin Man's mission in life to do his part to help elevate the quality of modern day literature to that which was prevalent during the bygone eras of Charles Dickens and Jonathan Swift.

Best Wishes,

Munchkin Man

Posts: 558 | From: Munchkin Man | Registered: Jun 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
urnso77
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I enjoyed your story Munchkin Man. I have a story too.

When I was 16 years old I asked my parents if I could take their car out for the day. I forgot what lie I told them but I remember them specifically telling me not to take it more than 10 miles away because the car had a tendency to be unreliable. Behind their back I drove the car 75 miles to a beach in Rhode Island. When we were done at the beach, I got in the car to drive home and the car started to overheat. Being 16, I was more concerned about not getting caught so I continued to drive the overheating car in the summer heat until the head gasket blew and white smoke was everywhere. I had to have my father pick me up about 30 miles from home and he was not a happy camper. I also was no longer allowed to drive their car.

The End

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T e x
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Charlie,

Shouldn't that be "Munchkin Boy" goes to da beach... ?

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

Posts: 21062 | From: Fort Worth | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bdgee
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"Some people complain that the Munchkin Man is too "verbose."

The Munchkin Man would like to let you know that he is the reincarnation of both Charles Dickens and Jonathan Swift."

It is the Munchkin Man's mission in life to do his part to help elevate the quality of modern day literature ..."


Yeah, I can see the first.

As to the second, I note that among any general population there are a certain number of fools and idiots.

For the third, how about learning something about first and seconde person.....or better yet, just chopping down the output? (Actually, the attack on that problem mey be best solved in the way you already approach it, in that you provide an exquisite example of exactly how not to write.)

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jordanreed
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carpet muncher says..."The same thing applies to the reading skills of most Americans today. Many of them are too lazy to read anything of substance in this modern age."

I say... if you had anything of substance to say, I would read it.

--------------------
jordan

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glassman
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glassie-eyed bozo is curious as to how the lolly-pop maker quantifies "writing skills"...

glassman ponders the the possibility that munchie is limiting his reading list to romance novels.

glassman is aware of many modern wrtitten works of art that allow the reader to fully escape into alternate realities that are very well constructed by brilliant minds with fine attention to detail.

glassman says that "flowery words" are not the sign of great writing but that they can be a distraction from the story in such a way that the reader never notices the writer's lack of broad and coherent imagination.

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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bdgee
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Yeah, glass, that's true. And you can disguise pittifully poor writing by couching in the wrong person so the reader is made to feel too uncomfortable to actually spot the blunders in thought or diction (as well as other things).

The mark of good writing isn't the breadth of vocabulary (or frequency of trips through Rogets', so to speak) but the ease with which the reader gathers the knowledge provided by the author (I generously assume there is some knowledge to transmit). A clumsy writing construct is not an aid in information transition, quite clearly. So, it must have some bit of information to transfer via the fact of its very use in order for it to be other than a distraction. Or, it can be used purely to try to hide the inadequacies of the writer or the writers writing.

Posts: 11304 | From: Fort Worth, Texas | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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