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After four hours of spectacular love-making (thank you, yoga!), my more-gorgeous-than-your-girlfriend girlfriend Mateja, her flesh all glossy with sweat, rolled over beside me and said:
"OK. So we have finally released the pent-up-passion that results from long separations. Now I must ask you a serious question."
"About bird flu?"
"About us. What happened between you and those girls in Sioux City?"
"Are you jealous?" I said coyly.
"Well, I won't lie to you, my jealous Slovenian girlfriend. It was a lot of fun. We went to a waterpark where we splashed around in the water. We laughed a lot; the girls thought I was very witty. I'd say they were a little starstruck—understandable, considering I am a world-famous Eurodance DJ."
"I see. I have a theory. None of the girls gave a sh*t about you. They didn't know who you were, so they weren't even slightly excited by your supposed 'celebrity' status. None of them listen to Eurodance, because no American teenager listens to Eurodance. At least one probably asked the mayor why you were even there at the party. And the answer she was given was that you were the third-choice replacement for Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears, who couldn't be there on account of 'having something more fabulous to do'. And finally, considering that the kid from High School Musical was also at the party—and he probably monopolized the girls' affections, in part because he is about half your rapidly advancing age—none of the girls gave you the time of day. So you were actually, to use an American colloquialism, 'bummed-out' by the whole experience."
"Look, Mateja," I said, sitting up suddenly. "I have to go. I just remembered that I need to update and verify my PayPal account."
"I love you. But you're an idiot."
"I love you, too. But it takes one to know one."
"I love you. But it takes one to call one who isn't one one."
I got a headache trying to sort that last one out.
-------------------- I came here to teach you about the enchanting rhythms of the universe... Posts: 222 | From: Earth | Registered: May 2006
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