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Purl Gurl
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Please, please, I beg you to help me feel better.

Please, someone out there tell me you are also
being year 2004 audited by the IRS.

* SCREAMS *

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Purl Gurl
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Oh woe is me, WOE is me.

I am bound for Debtor's prison.

Oh woe is me.

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HILANDER
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I'll probably take it in the shorts as well Purl. I refused to claim my profits as income last year because I made all of my trades from a combat zone and all income earned over there up to 80k is supposed to be tax free. Of course they may not screw with me since my profits were only 2000.00. We shall see.

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If it wasn't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all.

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Purl Gurl
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That? Oh, that, well, hmm, yes, that.

Well, you see I bought this GLUV, uh, GVRP,
I dunno, some stock stuff and I figure it was
worth, oh, I dunno, I guessed,

three-billion-five-hundred-million dollars.

So, well, it ain't worth anything now, ahh,
well, so I declared a loss of, hmm, I think
a loss of,

three-billion-four-hundred-million and some coins.

Yeah, well, yes, you see, I lost billions of
dollars on GVRP so I figure I don't owe you
boys anything.

Huh? I am full of what?

That cannot be. I took a big crap before you
meeting with you, and not by choice.

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Purl Gurl
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Hmm, think I will enlist.
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T e x
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quote:
Originally posted by Purl Gurl:
That? Oh, that, well, hmm, yes, that.

Well, you see I bought this GLUV, uh, GVRP,
I dunno, some stock stuff and I figure it was
worth, oh, I dunno, I guessed,

three-billion-five-hundred-million dollars.

So, well, it ain't worth anything now, ahh,
well, so I declared a loss of, hmm, I think
a loss of,

three-billion-four-hundred-million and some coins.

Yeah, well, yes, you see, I lost billions of
dollars on GVRP so I figure I don't owe you
boys anything.

Huh? I am full of what?

That cannot be. I took a big crap before you
meeting with you, and not by choice.

Purl, tell 'em to s your d...lol

I, too, am gonna write off my losses--they showed in my account, as ________thou$and--then got jerked away...

lol, kept my screen shots when I was a thousandairre...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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bdgee
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Told a professor that glared at me as I was exiting a john just before his class, "Uhhhh, just clearing out room to fit in your lecture, Sir.
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Purl Gurl
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There is this Jewish lawyer around here, very
popular radio talk show. Handle on the Law.

Anytime a caller asks about taxes, Bill Handle
always says the same,

"When the IRS guy shows up, fall to floor, grovel,
slobber, cry, beg for mercy, kiss his feet, plead
with him. When he asks for a check, write it and
tell him how thankful you are to be able pay. Then
fall back to the floor and beg more.

Never argue with the IRS. Just pay them and pray."

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bdgee
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The praying won't help, because the IRS is in league with Ol' Scratch, first and last....
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Purl Gurl
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Problem with the IRS is they have unlimited
resources, and a million tax lawyers. It costs
so much to fight them, you are better off to
simply pay them to go away. The IRS will spend
ten-million to collect ten dollars from you.

I plan to kiss ass every which possible. Whatever
money they want, it is theirs. Worth it to not
suffer anxiety and all that. You do not want the
IRS digging deeply into your financial history.

Just pay them and pray to Ol' Scratch for mercy.

Woe is me. Oh WOE is me. I am in IRS Hell.

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T e x
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heard that--for real.

so what do they call the gvrp thing? Is there a technical name for $$ in your account that later gets taken away, yet you can't label it a loss?

Seriously, if you know--good info

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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Purl Gurl
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Nah, we cannot declare that piece of sh*t a loss,
not until sold.

You can show GVRP on your purchase side of your
balance sheet for one year to help show a net
loss for the year, but this will toss it into
"long term" and will have to be reported,
eventually.

You cannot declare GVRP a one time, one year
loss until we can get rid that crap.

IRS scares the crap out of me, and I do not
scare easily. The IRS has ultimate power.
You are truly at their mercy.

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Purl Gurl
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I play it perfectly straight on the Schedule D
mule manure. You have no choice because your
broker sends a full accounting to the IRS.

The IRS already knows, already has full records.
You cannot cheat on stock trading.

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T e x
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thanks...

there is a form for broker to "declare it worthless," for lack of proper terminology...but not what I wanted, given "Gainskeeper" showing my account at multi-$$$$

what I do with IRS is ask stuff...kinda like you counseled me once with SEC: don't come in cocky, but hey, I luv ya, man...

you at least get payout terms...eh?

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Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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T e x
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quote:
Originally posted by Purl Gurl:
I play it perfectly straight on the Schedule D
mule manure. You have no choice because your
broker sends a full accounting to the IRS.

The IRS already knows, already has full records.
You cannot cheat on stock trading.

understood--and believe.

I simply so pi$$ed, lol, about the dough showing in my account then disappearing, I'm thinking about considering maybe perhaps f'n with em over this one...ie, one branch of feds vs another...

BUT, this is NOT answering your original plea:

If you were a Christmas tree? I'd not only decorate you, but give you extra sugar water...and allow NO cats in the room...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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glassman
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some bored bureacrat probably saw your picture and wanted to meet you in person....

--------------------
Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Purl Gurl
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My picture, ha! My ugly mug makes dogs howl and
children scream.

Ok, Tex, so you won't allow any cats in. This
suggests you will allow dogs in.

I will have to tell you boys of a recent stunt
pulled by me. Involves a large refrigerator box
with a peep hole, cut-outs for arms, and me
inside buck ass naked. (have pictures but I will
get in trouble if I link them)

Rather humorous, a neighbor asked if I saw a
cardboard box running up and down our street,
waving arms madly, and barefeet below.

No, I missed that one, neighbor. I don't know who
was in that box.

Scared the living daylights out of a rottweiler.
Made him bark and run! Bark and run! Bark and run!

Woof! Woof! What the F-word is that! Big box madly
running around.

Had a bottle of peach brandy in there with me.

You should see what I did for Halloween, even better! Involves
a professional level gorilla outfit, a snap flap and sex.

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Purl Gurl
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I should show pictures of me naked inside a
cardboard box to the IRS agent. He will leave.

Cool box! Make a big door up front, had some
plastic bags taped inside to hold grapes and
fruit, a bottle of peach brandy, some towels
and, hmm, other stuff.

What a thrill to be out in public, naked inside
a big box. Not illegal, I don't think. Might be
good for 72 hours observation, though.

Just had to be careful my door didn't fly open.

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T e x
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wiley, we should an AS offshoot like r-boyz...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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T e x
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sure is good to correspond, miss you mucho...

hey, even K has been posting...hadda nice spike-runner this am...

will sprinkle some tobacco over the fire...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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Purl Gurl
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 -

WHOOO HOOOO!

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Purl Gurl
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You boys thought I am pulling your short hairs!
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T e x
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lol, think about my r-boyz idea.


best to you and yours...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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metal1
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actually, its very easy to cheat on the schedule D. the only thing that gets reported to the IRS are the gross proceed amounts, not cost. of course if you cheat and you get audited, then you have a problem.
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glassman
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yeah, and then there's all the fun little tricke like trading the same stocks in multiple accounts, and whether you wanna go first in first out when you are trading only a portion of your shares....

PG, i suggest you wear a short skirt and hope you get somebody that likes legs....

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Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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Dustoff 1
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Audit? IRS? Multible accounts? Thanks alot! I just went into Atrial fib! LOL

Ain't so funny tho when it happens...Hey the Heart Failure excuse! I'm in um!

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glassman
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i got audited once....

for some reason they had re-calculated my return and decided i owed 200$ less than my calculations showed... of course i ddin't complain. and i put the 200 in my pocket....

then after the audit? i had to give them the 200 back.... LOL

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Don't envy the happiness of those who live in a fool's paradise.

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T e x
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hey, wiley burst my bubble--was gonna claim gvrp losses cuz my "paper profit" *did* show in gainskeeper...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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Purl Gurl
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Tex, your broker should have two types of documents
available to you which can usually be downloaded.

Rummage around in your account. Look for 1099
documents and 1044-D documents.

Your 1044-D documents can be used for your tax
return "Schedule D" attachment. Whatever your
broker reports is legitimate for use. Your broker
is responsible for accuracy, not you. Shift the
blame to your broker when you can.

Your broker generated 1044-D will display
two reports, buy and sell. Each will have a
grand total; total money for buy, total money
for sell. Hopefully, your buy will be greater
than your sell creating a net loss, although
year-over-year is a net profit (equity growth).

Eventually you will have to pay long term
capital gains on your equity growth, but you
will benefit to delay this as long as possible.

In those reports you should find cost of buying
GVRP, but no sale of GVRP. This lends to your
net loss. However, when you sell GVRP, if this
ever does happen, then GVRP will show in your
sale balance sheet, sometime in the future.

You cannot use GVRP as a single one year event,
buy and sell, but can use GVRP as a single year
purchase cost, while leaving GVRP on your balance
sheet for some future "sale" account balancing.
Other words your GVRP is now in the long term
capital gains (loss) category for taxes.

This year, GVRP is a cost.

Next year, GVRP will not show as a cost.

In the future, GVRP can only be reported as a sell.

You might try to use GVRP as a total write off
loss, but the IRS might ask for documentation
to prove GVRP is a "forever" worthless stock;
there is no sell report for GVRP.

A need would be to demonstrate defunct status,
bankruptcy or similar. Unfortunately, there is
not an easy way to use these worthless stocks
for a loss write off. I have a dozen or so of
those "worthless" stocks which simply carry over
from year-to-year as basically non-existent
for balance sheets; they are not listed.

Trick is to show as many single year costs
as possible for a single year net loss, and
hope you can take advantage of loopholes in
long term capital gains, much later in life.

GVRP is a "now" loss and if GVRP becomes a
profit later, GVRP will then mess up your
single year net loss. GVRP sucks no matter
how you look at it, unless wildly profitable.

We have until midnight, December 31, for GVRP
to become a legal single year loss. That is
not about to happen.

Worthless stocks screw up everything.

Purl Gurl

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keithsan
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It must be X-mas, I seee PURL!

you were missed!

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keithsan
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PURL,

big question, which type of audit?

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Dustoff 1
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you guys are scaring the hell outa me!LMAO
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T e x
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'ppreciate you, wiley...will check all you mentioned...

--------------------
Nashoba Holba Chepulechi
Adventures in microcapitalism...

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Purl Gurl
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Well, I am not sure "which" type of audit just
yet, Keith. I received an inquiry about a need
to file a 1044-D for year 2004.

My hope is this is some computer audit generated
request, and not a "full blown" audit.

Tell ya, I am tired of ****ting a brick each morning
upon awakening and remembering the revenuers are
after my big fat butt.

Think I will claim an "innocent spouse" excuse.

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PolarBear69
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Hey Purl you could always come January when its tiome to do your 2005 taxs just write boycott on the form and send them in , and then move to some other country that dosn't have a treaty with the US.... The IRS is nothing but a bunch of lossers sorry ... I just tell them to screw off if they want to contiune see tax returns from me..have they not heard of things like swiss bank accts to hide your money..
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