Many Wall Street brokers believe that a stroke does not really occur unless it
was observed by more than one person.
If your divot continuously travels farther than your ball, consider
Landscaping as a pastime.
Golf can best be defined as an endless
series of tragedies obscured by the occasional miracle.
The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil (Chi Chi Rodriguez)
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong
golf ball. (Jack Lemmon)
To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
golfers believe 'overclubbing' can be corrected by 'overlooking' or 'undercounting.' When using a caddie it can also be corrected by 'overtipping.'
Tee your ball high...air offers less
resistance than dirt. (Jack Nicklaus)
It's not whether you win or lose...it's whether I win or lose.
If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even
during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
The term 'mulligan' is really a contraction of the phrase 'maul it again.'
Why is it that when you tell yourself, 'don't hit it in the water' your
body only seems to hear the word 'water'?
A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers..neither
of whom can putt very well.
An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play, it is always possible to get worse.
The members who command the best service at
your golf club either have the lowest handicaps or the highest bar bills.
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. (Tommy Armour)
If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough
than you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter
of time before the IRS investigates your business.
Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
You know your golf game is improving when you start missing
shots much closer than you used to.
The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your name...and they say golf is a quiet game.
The real reason your pro
tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing at you. (Phyllis Diller)
Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and
shank it, hit into all the
traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink. (Bob Hope)
Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws his club
ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole. (Corollary: clubs don't float.)
The reason it's call golf is that all the other four-letter words were
already taken. (Dr. Vincent Manjoney)
If you have lost more than four balls on any given hole, for safety
reasons, let your partner drive the cart.
If profanity had an
influence on the flight of the ball, the game would be played far better than it is. (Horace Hutchinson)
Golf's three ugliest words: still your shot. (Dave Marr)
He who has the
fastest golf cart never has a bad lie. (Mickey Mantle)
Golf is like marriage: if you take yourself too seriously it won't work... and both are expensive.
Author Unknown ( Unless Stated )